The Alternate Timeline Portal

The Interweb’s largest repository for alternate timeline discoveries and how-to-guides to help get you started! ⏰ 🌎🌎🌎🌎 ⏰

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

🚨Hacker Alert Update🚨

After 1335 days locked out of our account, Dante finally cracked the password this morning. Well over 100,000 attempts and it was literally just "DaveMcGrath" 🤦‍♂️ Alt-Timeline Community we have missed you! Looking forward to reconnecting with you all! Dave

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@SeedheadVardy @altgazza Wouldn’t think too much on a kids cartoon! 😂😂😅😂

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@TreborRhurbarb @altgazza When he’s done with that can we get him to undo Brexit?! This is Dave btw xx

[TIMELINE TONY @altgazza]

YEAH SO I CAN FIND A TIMELINE WHERE GAZZA GUEST STARS IN THE CARTOON “TRANSFORMS”’ BUT I CANT FIND ONE WHERE MY EXMISSUS IS WILLING TO TRANSFORM HER DIFFERENCES WITH ME INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE AN GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE MORE CHNACE AN EVENTUALLY REMARRY FOR THE THIRD AN FINAL TIME

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

More proof of the 'Lady Di Constant' theory from Tony here. That everyone marries Diana at some point in their alternate lifetimes. Congratulations Gazza! Dave xx

[TIMELINE TONY @altgazza]

FOUND AN ALTERNATE TOMELINE THIS AFTERNOON WHETE GAZZA GOT TO MARRY PRINCESS DIANA INSTEAD OF PRINCE CHARLE AN IM LITERALLY AS SICK AS A DOG . JUST WANT TO EAT A HUNDRED HAPPY MEALS TO MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY

[TIMELINE TONY @altgazza]

FOUND AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE THIS MORNING WHERE GAZZA IS THE NOEL EDMONDS OF HIS GENERATION AND IVE NEVER FELT SO EMPTY IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@altgazza Nope. This is Dave btw xx

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@DaveBucket1 @altgazza @FatboySlim Derek here. The brain appearances and this request to talk is groundbreaking stuff Tony. Keep locked onto that timeline! I suspect there's something highly unusual going on with your setup. Free for a Zoom troubleshooting call this Tuesday at 8pm, or is #FaxChat still going on?

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@altgazza Know what you mean Tony. I used to pass a cool looking Dad on the school run, before the divorce, who was the spitting image of Peter Serafinowicz. Really wanted to be his friend and used to hope our kids might set us up like on that episode of Bluey @CBeebiesHQ. This is Dave btw

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@CentristQC @ass_carol @Steve_F87 Piers! Not heard of COUNTDOWN? It's only been on TV since 1982! Carol did the numbers section for 26yrs, absolute queen of mathematics. And which Dave exactly? I’ve lost count of how many we have, but I'm senior to everyone, because I’m the one that got our account back! Dante

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

Wowzer! You beauties have been magnificent! Rig discoveries flying in faster than we can keep up with! Here’s our favourite four Lady Di timeline marriages from what’s been sent in this morning -

Captain Tom 🫡 | Frank Bruno 🥊 | Margaret Thatcher 👩‍💼| Paul Chuckle 😆

Dave xx

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

🌍 ALTERNATE TIMELINE PROJECT 🕰️Help prove the 'Lady Di Constant' theory! That everyone marries Diana at some point in their alt-lifetimes. From the archives is this effort from Sandra in Swindon “Even Blobby @WorstBlobby can marry Di!” she cries! Let’s keep these coming! Dave xx

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@MizzieBS @WorstBlobby It really can happen to literally anyone! Dave xx #TheLadyDiConstant

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

Shinzo! 🥰 Bringing effortless grace and harmony in every timeline he appears in- a true champion of the people! Not looking too bad there yourself Your Pearly Majesty! 🥲 #TheLadyDiConstant

[The Seedhead Timeline @SeedheadVardy]

@alternateTLhub @WorstBlobby I once found a timeline where Shinzo Abe and Lady Di celebrated their marital union in a pub dressed as a Pearly King and Queen. The People’s Royalty!

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@Orwell_Fan @fixmygallery @SeedheadVardy @altgazza Can we PLEASE stop giving Tony culinary solutions to technical problems?! This is how rumours start and next thing we’ll have everyone marinating their equipment! I expected better from you Simon, given the rumours around your own personal fraudulence. This is Derek by the way.

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@altgazza Olive oil is for salads, not sockets Tony! The acidity in the oil will corrode the connectors. Who is giving you this advice @jamieoliver ? Please consult us before you consider raiding the kitchen cupboard again. This is Derek by the way.

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@altgazza @jamieoliver Not sure about this pal! Dave btw

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@altgazza @David_Cameron @ProfDavidBalls Really sorry to hear that Tony. I’m almost certain I speak for everyone running this account when I say that. Hope all is well with the rest of your family. 🙏 Dave xx

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

@CentristQC Sweet! Looking good mate! This is Dave btw xx

[The Alternate Timeline Portal @alternateTLhub]

🚨Hacker Alert Update🚨

After 1335 days locked out of our account, Dante finally cracked the password this morning. Well over 100,000 attempts and it was literally just "DaveMcGrath" 🤦‍♂️ Alt-Timeline Community we have missed you! Looking forward to reconnecting with you all! Dave