nikki

if it's illegal or detrimental to my health, I probably want it. dad/daddy 👻: ohwhatsup

[nikki @anythinbutsober]

we are on a trajectory that cannot be stopped 🏇

[nikki @anythinbutsober]

sometimes I think orange juice could make me cum

[nikki @anythinbutsober]

@midwestoner1 wait lmao are you ok? earnestly getting chopped up in the replies 😅 my goodness it’s just a dick, i’m sure pete is fine

[nikki @anythinbutsober]

food for thought: egg salad is basically scrambled deviled eggs

[nikki @anythinbutsober]

if I’ll spontaneously put on jeans for you, that’s true love

[✼❣♛☾ @imdanielle]

Today the meanest girl at my school (8th grade) told me my eyebrows looked nice have I peaked

[nikki @anythinbutsober]

[motion to add away message capabilities to imessage] @Apple who can I speak to about this and my many other revolutionary ideas for our dystopian overlords?

[nikki @anythinbutsober]

@IrrationalBrat nbd, just setting the bar for decent friendship behavior 💁🏻‍♀️😘 love ya!

[cory @coolmathgame_]

doctor: do you smoke or drink

me: yes

doctor: ok

me: are u mad at me

[gatsu @0xgats]

the girl of your dreams is just laying in her bed farting so bad rn

[ArtByBai @ArtByBai]

You ever just get overwhelmed by how gentle animals can be

This living thing covered in spikes has tiny little sucker feets and is carefully holding onto their finger. How can you not love life

[god’s baby @hostileworm]

i think about this tweet a lot

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

They shoulda just done hot ones and whoever lived can have it

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

“You have the morals of an alley cat,” is like something you sing about the Grinch.

[Danielle Sepulveres 🌻 @ellesep]

“This is going to ruin the tour,” I whisper when my PTO request gets denied

[machine yearning engineer @confusionm8trix]

incredible that barcelona has a wario next door

[✼❣♛☾ @imdanielle]

My body: we are deteriorating plz drink a single sip of water

Me: Starbucks, McDonald’s, juul, preworkout

My body:

Me: 711 taquitos and white claw