bdodgy

oh no!

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@daveweigel “Ozempic Escobar” would have been a much better line

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@kevinroose @benjamin_horne “Wow it was awfully dumb of me to fall for the whole NFT thing.”

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@SkinnerPm @brianrankin42 Sitting out this election doesn’t change the fact that one of the two of them will be elected

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@JamesSurowiecki Talarico should lean in and challenge Paxton to a 5K or an arm wrestling contest

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@MichaelLaRosaDC @ChairmanBuckley I hate poeple,like you who only care about their own paychecks instead of actually doing good

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

[After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory]
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to—
ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@SeanTrende It’s asinine to reduce this to “we can’t punish people for words” when the words in question are the criminal’s response to the question “do you regret and apologize for your criminal behavior, or would you do it again given the chance?”

[Sassington, M.C. @MissSassbox]

WORTH THE WATCH:

his name is Azeem Banatwalla and this is one of the most creative and hilarious comedy bits you will ever hear. someone's definitely going to try and replicate it. 😭

[PJ @kickthepj]

the first half of the alphabet is simple baby stuff but when u get past lmnop it's like ok... we're getting into dangerous teritory now

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

Dune: “People use space drugs to travel through space and gain super powers”

Me: “Alright”

Dune: “Space drugs are only on a dirt planet with giant worms and also the new space messiah”

Me: “Pretty reasonable”

Dune: “There’s a character named Duncan Idaho”

Me: “okay hold on

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

🐐 REPOST to WIN 🐐

We’re just a few days away from Ichiro going into the Hall of Fame! To celebrate, we’re giving away an #IchiroHOF Prize Pack—thanks to the @MarinersStore! All you need to do is hit that repost button for a chance to win!

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

🍑 REPOST TO WIN 🍑

Rep the Home Run Derby Champ with an exclusive “Big Dumper” towel from @Gatorade—just like the one he used during the #HRDerby.

We're giving away 🔟 towels, so hit that repost button for a chance to win!

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

☕ REPOST TO WIN ☕

We’re continuing the March to Opening Day, so our friends at @Starbucks are giving away Opening Day batting practice passes, four main level tickets and a $500 Starbucks gift card! Just hit repost for a chance to win.

[Doc Johnny Fever🎙 @NikiMarinis]

"Good for you." - Alex Trebek telling some midwestern contestant their fun personal story fucking sucked.

[angela wheezy @carpeangela]

“bake me a cake as fast as you can” is an unhinged thing to say to someone

[peter @arabatman_]

“you feel me?” brother I haven’t felt anything since the scholastic book fair

[brent @murrman5]

[running out of steam during the eulogy] he always wore the clothes he never let the clothes wear him

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@bamfosaurus @steinkobbe @niccruzpatane a supersonic plane existed and was stopped because it was too expensive

and a rocket would be even more expensive

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

“It was a mash.”

“A monster mash?”

“Is there another kind?”

[bdodgy @bdodgy3]

@SeattleKraken