Jeanne Goshe

(jee’-nee go’-shee) Contributor @reductress. Co-host @raisedwrongpod. Sit down comedian. I made those tiny hot dogs up there. She/her

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

finally found a headband that meets all my criteria: extra wide, eco-friendly, and looks like a package of ground beef

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

It must be wild to give a shit about stuff like this. You must be free of literally any problems if this actually bothers you. You're so bored living a life without challenge or meaning that you need to find the littlest shit to cry about online to other grown adults.

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

Idea for Paramount:
Paramount Plus ✨Plus✨ (It’s just like Paramount Plus only it works)

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

I’m actually not funny anymore but I was pretty pleased with this one

[Reductress @Reductress]

REPORT: 97 Percent of Dastardly Mustache-Twirling Villains Think U.S. Is Headed in Right Direction: https://t.co/ZA9qHQ21Kh

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

Pretty chilling to realize that there must be people who think they have imposter syndrome but actually are imposters and that you are probably one of them.

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

The greatest trick the devil ever played was coming up with the bullshit math equation for determining your bra size.

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

@cconnelly1975 Thank you for your support and for being a law-abiding citizen!

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

I wrote this headline and you actually have to send me one dollar if you liked it. Sorry, that’s the law!

cash app & venmo: beangoshe

[Reductress @Reductress]

Real-Life ‘Severance’? This Woman Has No Idea What She Does All Day: https://t.co/BeJ7R6zVuJ

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

@theashleyray I wouldn’t even feel confident saying they’re all guys

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

I wrote this to bring greater awareness to the issues affecting shitty dudes on dating apps.

[Reductress @Reductress]

Dude Who Discriminates Based on Age, Weight, & Hair Color Appalled That ‘Nazi Sympathizer’ is Dealbreaker for Woman: https://t.co/nxiCHI8p5Z

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

Question: If both parties are the same then why are all the nazis in just the one?

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

@TheQuiver_ @CrunchCardwell To be fair, with RFK influencing decisions about public health it might not be too long before our next pandemic. Hello cheap gas and measles!

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

Nevertheless I would kind of understand if she stopped persisting at this point

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

I can’t wait to find out who I misdirect all of my anger at today!!

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

Ok I drank a lot last night and it didn’t help. I’m literally all out of ideas.

[Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney]

What if they counted all the votes and THEN the news came on AFTER

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

me eating my feelings

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

If you’re undecided about this election (or anything in life) I think a good rule of thumb is just do the opposite of whatever Elon Musk is doing.

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

I’m using every ounce of willpower I have to stop myself from getting in a useless argument with my old boss about Jill Stein. I am at once proud of and disappointed in myself.

[Jeanne Goshe @beangoshe]

@alexsteed Chloe Okuno's 'Watcher'! (Not to be confused with Watchers or The Watcher)