Bored Employee

Mostly tweet about things I do while bored at work in a #yeg office building.

[Shenanigans @Shenanigans_luv]

No one is more smug than the first guy to get a standing desk at work

[WittySassBasket™ @WittySassBasket]

[not breaking eye contact with the boss]
Alexa, is this bitch serious?

[tom @pilau]

Back to work tomorrow but only for another 20-30 years so it’s cool

[jo @whatsJo]

Go ahead and call HR, I don't even work here.

[D @YourNewNigga]

NEVER use the bathroom on your break. Do that on company time.

[Possum Kingdom @aissalanis]

I could spend 24 hours a day here and still not know what the fuck is going on.

[Jack Boot @IamJackBoot]

Stop calling me an amateur. I've been doing this for decades. I'm incompetent.

[Bored Employee @Bored_YEG]

#ThursdayThoughts

[Bored Employee @Bored_YEG]

I wish farts smelled like fresh brewed coffee.

[Kent Graham @KentWGraham]

If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him.

[Noodles @Dawn_M_]

[plummeting from a huge cliff to my death] I'm hungry

[The Planet @ShipInTheKnight]

Due to time constraints, we're fucked.

[Dave @pittdave13]

Conference calls are fun because no one can see my jerk off motion

[Bored Employee @Bored_YEG]

#office #wishlist:

[Bored Employee @Bored_YEG]

Stopped doing any actual work so I can study the proliferation of gnats emerging from the plant and come up with their Sim names.