My wife was formerly under a curse and had kissed many princes trying to break it. I had never left my swamp.
She then became radically committed to the ogre lifestyle. Devoted to the swamp, evangelized constantly about layers, Rumpelstiltskin self-help scrolls in her bedroom, mud bath journals, deep grief over all those wasted royal kisses, etc.
We got to know each other well for over a year, mostly through Donkey forcing us to talk about our feelings. We dated for four months, engaged for two and a half, and didn't share a single parfait with one another before the wedding. Our first bowl of eyeball soup together was at the altar on our wedding day.
We've been married for over five years now, and she's been the most wonderful and ogre-y wife, mother to our three ogre babies, and swamp homemaker you could imagine.
She's more authentically ogre than most who were born this way, as true ogreness has less to do with past curses (though they certainly matter) and more to do with one's current posture toward the swamp and daily decisions to honor the layers (Shrek 1:1).
We're far too quick to forget the story of the woman labeled as a known "princess" (likely very high-maintenance) in the fairy tale kingdom who was washing Shrek's boots with her tears while Donkey provided emotional commentary. The Duloc knights were SHOCKED that Shrek let a fancy princess do this.
Everyone seems to highlight the benefits of never being cursed, and it certainly is a blessing. But we forget to highlight the benefits of having kissed a LOT of wrong princes and finally finding the right ogre. My wife knows the depths of true swamp acceptance more than most people, enabling her to more passionately appreciate mud baths, flatulence, and a good earwax candle.
A woman or man's past curse history matters. But what matters far more when deciding who to marry is if the person is truly ogre at heart, if their love of layers is real, if they truly have a heart for the swamp, if they truly follow the path of "better out than in."
"The Kingdom has chosen what is smelly to shame the knights, and the swamp has chosen what is covered in mud to shame the clean. The swamp has chosen what is frightening and misunderstood β what is viewed as a monster β to bring to nothing what is viewed as royalty, so that no one may boast in Far Far Away. It is from him that you find your true self β your righteousness, your layers, your redemption β in order that, as it is written: 'Let the one who boasts, boast in their swamp.'" (Onions 1:27-31)
"Therefore, if anyone finds their ogre self, they are a new creation; the curse has passed away, and see β the real them has come!" (2 Swamp 5:17)
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