Caleb Driedger

Oof

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

CUCUMBER 911: What’s your emergency?

CUCUMBER: Please send help! I’m trapped in a jar full of vinegar!

CUCUMBER 911: hmmm, this is a pickle!

[Dean @dakarrier]

me: *empties water bottle into the lake* go, you’re free now

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

@LlamaInaTux Wow. I'm flattered... but I'm not really into llamas, sorry.

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

Can't wait to be able to tell my kids, "back in my day a blackberry was a cellular device!"

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

Only in Canada are protesters too polite to do any real statue vandalism and then have opponents SO outraged that they donate to cancer research!

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

There was a "smash-and-grab" at an Apple store. The perpetrators got away with $20,000 worth of product. Apple is asking nicely that they give back the two stolen phones.

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

@NewDadNotes Sounds like your daughter needs to start a joke account!!

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Decided to get bangs

Not mine though. Someone else's

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

me: I like using straws, but I also want to help the environment

inventor of the paper straw: what if I told you you could do neither?

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

My dissertation proves the quantum entanglement of the particles that make up facial hair and the particles that make up the Stanley Cup.

[jordan @jordan_stratton]

The worst part about getting arrested by a motorcycle cop is having to hug him from behind all the way back to the precinct.

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

@LlamaInaTux Whilst Canada be;

.

[The Fledglings Contest @The_Fledglings]

⭐️⭐️ FLEDGLINGS CONTEST ⭐️⭐️

⭐️For accounts under 2k only!⭐️

🔗Link up to 3 original, previously unsubmitted tweets

See below for a tutorial on how to do that👇

⌛️Contest ends Saturday @ 4pm Central Time

Winners announced today and tomorrow!

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

@The_Fledglings Thank you Mr. Blue bird... Here's my finest work

https://t.co/j9WmeMwzKy

[ωα∂є @swig_xo]

Winnipeg is jus going coo coo for covid 🥴

[Tommytoughstuff @Tommytoughstuff]

"Son you're just not cut out to be a mime."
"Is it something I said?"
"Yes."

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

Good quality journalism of 1911

[Caleb Driedger @caleb_driedger]

@ShootyDoody How dare you!?