Troll Swan

I swim, usually at rowers. I can break your arm with my neck.

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@LNER @sarahsouthern Thanks LNER. What are our onward travel options if we would like a seat please? I should have been on the 11:42 to NCL.

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@My_Metro Good evening - has the announcement voice inside some of the trains changed recently? I’m sure I remember it being a male voice at some previous point? Cheers

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@TfLRail just wanted to say how happy I am with the services between RDG and PAD. Trains always clean, staff very cheerful and accessible and the only delay has been when stuck behind delayed @GWRHelp services. Particular shout out to Kevin at Slough station on Mon evening 👍😃

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@networkrailwest How long does it take to fix a wire? Services between RDG and DID farcical. Damage happened days ago. GWR don’t seem to care but I bloody do...

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp Another fantastic @GWRHelp experience. Arrive at RDG 20 mins delayed just in time to see connection leaving in the distance. Now another 20 minute wait here too. Is there any accountability for this farce?

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp what is the criteria for a void day please? Thought this was meant to be sorted out last night? Why are the remaining trains all On Time, right up until they are meant to start, when they’re suddenly hugely delayed?

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp Hi Brad, I understand the reason, but why can’t the remaining few trains at least run to time? You say to check the timetable before setting off, and then I’m stuck here while nothing arrives. (Expected at 7:29 now). I assume season ticket holders can expect nothing back?

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp Please see departure screen from Tilehurst. That 7:08 is now updated to 07:27 since I took the photo

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp How about “Five give up on personal space”? It’s got a nice, realistic ring to it.

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp
Disruption: cleared.
GWR: cancelled.

The excuses change but the service never does. Why is it always “punctuality tomorrow”?

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp Great GWR email campaign... “Five Get There Faster”?!? Did they just drive instead?
Once again TFL is running fine, GWR service barely worth the name. Does the 63% punctuality on your Thames Valley services make you feel all warm and fuzzy at night?

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp the contempt you have for your customers is, frankly, breathtaking. Trump would be proud of you.

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp how are your services so unrelentingly unreliable? Is the timetable printer placed on top of the office shredder for convenience?

Tfl rail: No issues.
GWR: Let’s cancel every other train!

Your recorded apology announcements have all the empathy of a brick to the face.

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp @Neiljdavis Sure... bin the electric coaches but leave the 2 carriage turbo running instead. That will do... *slow clap*.

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp Cheers Andy, do you know if there will be a reduction in price as TfL have also said they intend to be cheaper than First..?

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp TfL have just announced they will be running stopping services from RDG to PAD from December. What will happen to season ticket holders that use stopper trains at that point? Cheers

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp I suggest this is not one of those times...

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@VirginTrains Cheers BT!

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@VirginTrains Is there reason there are no advance fares on 15th Dec, but there are on days either side?

[Troll Swan @catchingcrabs]

@GWRHelp Any plans to use the timetable on the Thames Valley services today? “Delayed” is my favourite departure time...