Christopher Demicoli

I am a Software and Infrastructure enthusiast. I am passionate about Documentaries, Aircraft, Diving and very fascinated about precision Timekeeping and Radio

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

Verifying myself: I am cdemi on https://t.co/uqoIwaMmJT. vm6NnrhBUMaNxjp_ybO7KAStuMc4l1YNTePG / https://t.co/6L3xhhdiV8

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@TrumpDailyPosts No one really knows why the stock market goes up or down. There are 3 fundamental truths of the stock market: 1) Stock market always goes to the right 2) When @realDonaldTrump adds tariffs it goes down 3) When @realDonaldTrump removes tariffs it goes up

[DataNCrypto IQ -16.7 @CryptoTouns]

@TrumpDailyPosts 🤡🤡🤡

[Ben @BenjaminEHowe]

@manuel_frigerio Please don't give advice on what someone's GitHub should look like if your GitHub looks like this... :-)

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@deutch1976 @zacbowden Yes it's like they are doing reverse AI on making sure stuff reported as spam goes directly to everyone's inbox. A first year student could write a better spam filter than this

[Zac Bowden @zacbowden]

I'm so close to quitting Outlook lol

The amount of junk mail I'm getting these days is absurd.

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@zacbowden https://t.co/HTyt8iyUuT has the worst spam filter in existence. I wonder if they share spam filter rules with Microsoft 365 or Exchange. If so, poor users...

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@binance Remember to also clear your cache or view NFTs in incognito mode to avoid stealing NFTs unknowingly. Cache folder should be arrested!!!

[Livespins @WeAreLivespins]

The players have spoken... so we have delivered! 🚀 Welcome to a new era of live entertainment. The ultimate hassle-free #streaming solution, direct from your #casino lobby. Reach out to discuss getting your casino integrated. 📲 #iGaming

[Russian Market @runews]

Someone hacked #YandexTaxi and ordered all available taxis to Kutuzov Prospect in Moscow

Now there is a huge traffic jam with taxis.

It‘s like James Bond movie.

https://t.co/IatuAEtA2i

[Laszlo @laszlocph]

@hellocenzo @Azure @AzureSupport ✋

cordens pod fails to find nameservers
image pull issues from azure cr and dockerhub

[Vince @hellocenzo]

Anyone else on @Azure experience DNS issues? @AzureSupport

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@laszlocph @hellocenzo @Azure @AzureSupport We have the same issue. As usual Azure status page says everything OK

[Disney+ @DisneyPlus]

You asked, @SethMacFarlane answered!

Learn about how #TheOrville came to life, the details behind your favorite moments, and more. 💫 (1/11)

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@jonasrotilli @tlhunter @AzureSupport @helpmedigital @digitalocean @ABrown06923721 @SMarikawa1978 Yes looks solved finally!

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@jonasrotilli @DOStatus @AzureSupport Looks like incident notice is up: https://t.co/6Al6T7lISj

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@Scott_Helme @digitalocean Incident notice is up: https://t.co/6Al6T7lISj

[Christopher Demicoli @chridemi]

@Scott_Helme @digitalocean https://t.co/uSSaPDS4Dc

[Bratags.com @bratagscom]

@chridemi @AzureSupport I can confirm as well that there is indeed an issue! We use DO and our routes to Azure have been broken for the past 2+ hours now! @digitalocean