𝒮𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓋𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓀𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉

♌︎

[Grace @gracecamille_]

DIVA 💅 DOWN ⬇️ FLIMSY 🍜 LINDSAY 👵 Graham 👴 is on permanent 😭 RECESS 💀 today 📆 after taking 😳 a deep 😩 DICKING 🍆 💦 from 👏 a SEXY 🫦 ILLNESS ☣️ the senator 👴 from SOUTH ⬇️ CUNTOLINA 🇺🇸 💅 died 🪦 on FREE 💸 SLURPEE 🥤 DAY 📆 after a 👶 lifetime 👴 of SUCKING 🍆 😩 the life 💀 out of his 💅 CUNT 🍑 -STITUENTS 😏 While many 🙅‍♂️ will not 🚫 miss 🤷‍♂️ the notorious 💥 WAR 🔫 COCK 🍆 we must pour 🫗 one out 👉 for this 💃 SEXY 🫦 SLAYER 💀 down⬇️ south 🇺🇸 so send ✉️ ➡️ this to 🫵 your 🔟 most❗SEXUALLY 🍆 💦 AMBIGIOUS ⚧ CUNT🍑 -SERVE💅 -atives 💁‍♀️ if you 🫵 get 0️⃣ back 🍑 you’re 👎 a real 😩 LENINGRAD 🇷🇺 LINDSEY 👴 if you 🫵 get 5️⃣ back 🍑 you’re 😂 a certified ✅ GRAHAM 🍞 CRACKER 😳 and if 😩 you get 🔟 back 📩 you’re a 😳 FULL 🍆 🍑 BLOWN 🌬️ LADY

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

The blood vessel in Lindsay Graham’s brain last night:

[ian @sivasiann]

The McConnell staffers in the room with him right now

[Brooklyn World @quadspawning]

getting shot while wearing these but i transfer my consciousness to a tiny little person in the car right before the bullet destroys my brain and I drive off to safety

[ganii @gahhnie]

the chinese are puffing shit i couldnt even fathom

[tern @1goodtern]

You couldn't make this up.
If you plotted this in a movie or TV show it would seem too ridiculous and unsubtle.

[Victims of Capitalism Memorial Foundation @karaokecomputer]

To all who celebrate

[Dylan “in the Saw bathroom” Dern @DylanDern]

“Are you excited for Taylor’s wedding?”

[greg @gandalf_thegreg]

toddlers to people with deformities in the grocery store

[🜏 SPITE 🜏 @LiquidGoth]

just put sissy unc on my island

[once and future wife geist @wife_geist]

theyll never be able to afford a nest

[sniffies @sniffiesapp]

early bird gets the 8" uncut big balled worm

[Jon Cartwright @JonComms]

Which version of Pokémon are you going for

[mr_eggs 🇵🇸 @scrumble_eggs]

I hope Tim is having a good pride month.

[Jennifer Lee Rossman @JenLRossman]

RIP Noah from the Bible, you would have loved catching every Pokémon

[Madonna @Madonna]

Love is Love. Stop Hate Crimes. 🙏🏻 Any form of terrorism is a form of Hate!

[The Internet Fish @TheInternetFish]

Questioning my algorithm

[David Rattigan @davidmrattigan]

buying this and then dying immediately and forcing my descendants to finish building it over the next 100 years