Catherine Owens

Sometimes you have to care less, in order to see if they'll care more....

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

Having a bad day is like watching a boring movie. You wanna fast-forward to the part where everyone dies.

[Jacqueline Goodman @2015Stepanyan]

Call me virginity. because once you lose me, i ain't coming back.

[Rocio Swanson @nadberezhnyy]

Hoes will be hoes, Monday - Saturday & starting again Sunday after church services.

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate bars and someone asks for 4, how many do you have left? Me: 10

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A stupid person makes it.

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

Real men always have time for their woman. No matter what, even if he's busy, he'll find a way to make time for her.

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

How do Hypnotists get from place to place? By public trance-port!

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate bars and someone asks for 4, how many do you have left? Me: 10

[Ann Smith @keshanidia]

I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself that I never knew about.

[Dorothy Pettigrew @ikyzajche]

Saying "I'm almost there" when you actually haven't even left the house.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.

[Betty Smith @manazypov]

I respect high school dropouts. I mean, who else is going to make my hamburgers?

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

9 months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad.... But left with my mom.

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

My Vocabulary = 50% swearing, 50% sarcasm.

[Patricia Bruton @leboshkinak]

If the shoe fits... buy it in every color.

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

[Kari Voss @pavlamikhaylus1]

How to Save the World: 1) Make a document titled "The World". 2) Save it.

[Stacy Wolf @MakridinI]

What a wifey understands, a hoe could NEVER comprehend.