CryptoJesus

NBA Journalist innit

[🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿TheEnglandSocial🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @SocialEngland66]

The absolute melt in the red is the reason why we don’t want people drinking in stands.

*This was when Rashford hit the side netting btw.

*credit: HaytersTV

[Steve Laws 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @Steve_Laws_]

When you pull out your phone in London:

[Bob @BobBurn97207272]

How does a Government that takes 40% off its
citizens' income wind up a trillion dollars in debt?

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

@zarahussain999 @PolitlcsUK Wrong

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

@Polymarket Yeah it's called indian hygienic standards now working in hospitality

[Johann @LookAtMyMeat1]

>massive influx on Indians into the US in recent years
>these same people get hired at fast food chains
>they're incredibly unhygenic
>handle food with dirty hands
>normal person eats said food
>they get sick

there solved your mystery

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

@Benleo Natural selection

[ChiefHerbalist @HerbalistChief]

We made so much fun of hantavirus that they deleted the whole storyline.

The disease just pack up and left due to bad ratings.

[Sudanalytics @sudanalytics_]

Estos paraguayos estaban mirando los penales en un bar y, justo cuando iba a patear el penal definitorio, SE APAGÓ TODO.

JAJAJA, ES EL VIDEO DEL AÑO. 😅🇵🇾

[Tarric Brooker aka Avid Commentator 🇦🇺 @AvidCommentator]

U.S joins Canada with negative net overseas migration.

Meanwhile, they have robust productivity growth and per capita GDP growth.

Both things Australia doesn't have and will not sustainably have with its current settings.

[Tommy Robinson 🇬🇧 @TRobinsonNewEra]

Where do I start here?

OK, lets start with this.....

Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood wants the general public to be trained, magistrate-style, to oversee appeals against rejected asylum claims.

Here's the best part, and this tells you everything you need to know about how broken UK immigration laws are.

This new body would prioritise cases in the public interest and high-harm offenders, potentially starting from late 2027.

High harm offenders actually get the right to appeal to stay in the UK!!!

Why?

Why should they have the right to appeal to stay in the UK when they are likely going to cause the British public harm?

It's fucking ridiculous.

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

@_GAi92 @Perky_43 Difference is every white person would happily sentence him to life in prison, or even death

Muslims will happily lie to help their Muslim friends avoid prison

See the difference?

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

My wife has a strict rule: I am not allowed to be left unsupervised in public for more than twenty minutes. This weekend reminded me why.

I’m standing in a long line at a garden center with a massive 50lb bag of specialized bird seed.

This woman behind me taps me on the shoulder and asks, "Oh, do you have a lot of birds?"

Standard small talk, But I’d been in line for fifteen minutes and I was bored.

I looked at her, completely deadpan, and said: “Actually, no, This is for me, It’s a new holistic cleanse I’m trying, High protein, great for the hair.”

The guy behind her immediately stopped scrolling on his phone.

The woman’s eyes went wide. “You… you eat that? Is that even safe?”

I leaned in like I was sharing a government secret. “The results are incredible. I lost 30 pounds last summer. The only problem is the side effects. Last time I did it, I ended up in the emergency room for two weeks. Tubes, monitors, the whole deal.”

She gasped. “From the seeds? Did you get a parasite?”

“No,” I said. “I was perched on a telephone pole trying to sleep and a hawk knocked me off. Fell forty feet.”

The guy behind her made a sound like a tire blowing out. The woman just stood there, paralyzed, trying to process the mental image.

Right then, my wife comes back from the bathroom, sees the look on the woman's face, grabs my arm, and starts dragging me toward the exit.

“He’s kidding,” she tells the woman. Then she turns to me: “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

I don't care. The look on that lady's face was worth more than the bird seed. 😂

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

@lesstenny I refuse to believe 49% of the country is that retarded

[Matt Sumf @MattSumf]

Lyft driver thinks he’s gonna get a cancellation fee out of me, I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees

[Stacy is Right @PoliticalStacy]

It’s illegal to bring a foreign plant into the country because it might upset the ecosystem… but importing millions of people from the Third World apparently makes total fucking sense?

Get the fuck out of here.

[Joshua Garrison @Bearded_Bigot]

I bring home a trapped coyote and let it loose in the kitchen.

Hackles up. Teeth bared. Pissing on the floor.

My wife says, "Get it out."

I tell her that is a very unwelcoming and unchristian way to speak about a future house pet.

The children back into the hallway.

I tell them it's a rescue.
I tell them fences are fear.
I tell them cages are barbaric.
I tell them the old rules were cruel.
I tell them it will domesticate in time.

Then I grab my lunchbox and leave them to live with my principles.

When I get home, there is blood on the floor, and the experts who sold me on compassion are already explaining why nobody could have seen this coming.

Anyway, that's Western migration policy.

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

@Sean_Zittel Perfectly valid to question BW level of competition. Embarrassing cv and only ever fights as a -1200 fav. Fuck that guy until he has a challenge

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

@BULLReturns Wont be able to afford to look after our own if we keep importing net negative unskilled 3rd worlders. The second this stops is the second the west sees a rise in living standards again

[CryptoJesus @cryptojesus69]

Turns comments off because he knows hes a fuckwit

[Craig F̶o̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ @Craig_Foster]

Greetings and congratulations to Egypt and the @EgyptNT_EN

That was an epic match.

We note your first ever win, and congratulate you on your progression.

We’ve only met each other twice before, both in friendlies.

It will be a great challenge to face the Pharoahs, 7 times champions of Africa.

We have a strong community of around 103,000 of Egyptian ancestry, and 23,000 Aussies born in Egypt.

This game will allow us to get to know our own Australian-Egyptians better, and to get to know you, before we meet on the field next Saturday.

We know that ancient Egyptian culture is one of the earliest recorded, around 5,000 years ago.

And while the Commonwealth of Australia was established in 1901, you should know that our First Nations, Indigenous Australians are the oldest living culture on earth - 65,000 years of continuous existence.

We will use the opportunity to get to know you, will meet on the field with respect, and mutual ambition.

And may the best team win.