i don’t even know

I make jokes sometimes

[Liste @endliste]

Adam sandler (wearing the longest basketball shorts youve ever seen): Israel isn't bad kanye

[erin chack @ErinChack]

You ARE too old and it IS too late. Also you have a very specific vocal tic that strangers notice immediately and friends do unsavory impressions of.

[i don’t even know @dethcabforbooty]

@BluebriarArts Do some things sometimes and other, different things at other times is the real sage wisdom buried in this interaction, I think

[Jaketropolis @jaketropolis]

"Your witty wordplay based on the prompt is admirable, but I've deployed a vulgar slur for my answer. That appears to be Quiplash, Mr. Bond."

[👁️👃👁️ @jestermaxxing]

Imagine if instead of glory holes we had ‘story holes’. Holes you can put your ear to and hear a wonderful story.

[Victims of Capitalism Memorial Foundation @karaokecomputer]

To all who celebrate

[mothcub @mothcub_]

A poem about my original Shrek universe character, Jessica.

[Fat Lenny @FatLennyLJS]

White boy summer hasn't been the same since this nuke was dismantled

[i don’t even know @dethcabforbooty]

@LFauexProd Socrates 2.0 over here

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

The only way to defeat an evil sorcerer with a skeleton army is a good evil sorcerer with a skeleton army

[Hoops McCann @ravidravidravid]

beagle bartender: what’ll it be
me: dirty martini—shaken
beagle bartender: this isn’t just to watch my ears flap is it
me: nooo come on man
beagle bartender: sure alright *starts shaking and his ears flap*
me: hahaha :) hahahaha

[Math Liker 🇹🇲 🇿🇲 @gunkshake]

I grew up in the Hundred Acre Wood and it was an open secret that Pooh was a barely functioning alcoholic. Just a real nasty piece of work when the cameras weren't around, and I don't think anyone who was there for those days was upset at his passing

[evan.. @dogparkranger]

i think she's using me for my terrible looks and bad penis and no money

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

average halo 1 level: god damn it chief. All the soldiers are dead. Take this car made of styrofoam and fly it into the forerunner playtime palace playset and kill all the tiny creatures

average halo 2 level: (cocks gun) those alien bastard's are gonna pay for 9/11

[yip @yipfella]

imagine thinkin fifteen is five 3s, not three 5s, sick, disgustin shit

[i don’t even know @dethcabforbooty]

@sorabunii No I do it for work. Especially taxing on the jaw when I come home from a day at the stamp-licking factory

[zinzy°🐻 @zinzy_js]

“Mustafa with 3 on the clock, under the mistletoe, step back, AND GOOD, OHHHH IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOTT LIKE CHRISTMAS”