djbrac11 💭

⛳️🏌🏻

[ARROW @phresh_arrow]

Imagine making $70-80k a year in the $5
footlong era.

[Guppi @guppisound]

Maybe ur cat is meowing because they want three beers

[daz @MetamateDaz]

when the boomers are gone can we all stop pretending we need to be physically in the office 8 hours a day, 5x a week?

[𝒵𝒾𝓀✯ @_Gottalovezik]

just rolled a joint. It was my ankle.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Due to the high cost of energy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.

[Ayômîde 🧢 @Haryormdey4u]

pov: you just started a new job and everyone’s using acronyms you haven’t learned yet

[djbrac11 💭 @djbrac11]

I don’t tweet very often, but this is important… McDonald’s taking away their soda fountains inside the restaurant is the biggest recession indicator I can think of

[Logan Hall @loganclarkhall]

“Where is my 5 iron? Is it safe? Is it alright?”

“It seems, in your anger, you threw it into the lake…”

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I can't go swimming because it is never more than an hour since I've last eaten.

[LAMP @dirtylamp3]

Can’t name a time I didn’t figure it out

[abrish @cxrnerrstone]

im not even on my last straw anymore. i think i borrowed this one from somebody

[sophist @no_sophist]

we already have a data centre in my neighbourhood. it's called? The Public Library

[Travonne Edwards @Travonne]

you cooked with this one

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

“Deodorant getting kinda pricey”

Steal it if you have to, Pleaseee

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

put yourself in my crocs your honor

[Jake Thornton 🇬🇧🇺🇸 @jakethornton]

“Tell him to enter the password he knows is correct. Inform him it is incorrect. Invite him to reset it. Watch as he enters the password he believed it to be all along. Then tell him he cannot use it… because it is his current password.”

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

He just uploaded his resume now make him type everything in again manually

[alli @sonofalli]

He’s going to the airport. Add 10 people in the security line who have never spent a day on earth.

[pink slime princess @bettyjaws]

the reason ur always sick is bc ur swag is lacking

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

*Lets go of mouse for 30 seconds to sip coffee*

Microsoft Teams: He’s dead.