Darren Young

I am a human noise maker.

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

Called out.

[Make up a Musician @MadeUpMusician]

Musician who can’t choose one instrument to master, so instead they’re mediocre at several

[CBC Pitchbot (Satire) @CBCPitchbot]

BREAKING: A better world isn't possible — government source

[cas says free palestine @CrappyFumes]

This was how Carlin opened the special. He just ran out and this was his first joke.
A real one.

[Reuters Pitchbot (Satire) @ReutersPitchbot]

BREAKING: World's biggest clown purchases world's largest circus

[Emo Philips @EmoPhilips]

this is an exciting time if you’re a large amount of money

[jame @kloogans]

we've tasted blood now. celebrities must fight to the death for the oscars from now on

[Kevin Nimmock @KevinNimmock]

Both I and Michael Phelps know how to swim.

[Nora Loreto @NoLore]

Remember when the world boycotted the Vancouver Olympics over genocide in Canada?

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@heatherfuture This is a great mantra and I love it.

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@heatherfuture One might say that bad writing can be an advantage for a murder mystery! Go full camp, Heather.

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

Coffee machine and toaster stopped working simultaneously, do I go back to bed now?

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@carrotadventure Emoji thumbs up and whatnot

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@carrotadventure #neverforget

[Tim Duffy™ @TimDuffy]

Morning coffee is for fuel but afternoon coffee is for the love of the game.

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@LauraJaneGrace Is this opposed to the usual emotional pain? New, improved personal growth pain vs. Boring, mundane emotional pain?

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

Shout out to the dude with the backwards Oilers cap who spit on the sidewalk no less than 20 times while running in front of me this morning. #blessed

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@mikeybassoon There’s always money in the banana stand.

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@carrotadventure The people demand a B section!

[Darren Young @dmfyoung]

@JesseBrown “It’s not a coup, it’s a...”

Made me laugh out loud. Phenomenal episode today!