average cholesterol

I am 28 and my back hurts. unfortunately a seattle sports fan

[rose ☕️🌼💻 @icedcortado_]

if god is real he really popped off with the concept of gravitational compaction

[average cholesterol @dotKolin]

trumps voice is Like That™️ because he is trying to impersonate JFKs voice and it isn’t working

[Keifer @DannyVegito]

you can tell Mormonism is an American invention by how much of their culture is about exploiting loopholes to get away with something. can’t drink caffeine but they’re obsessed with putting bullshit in soda. no coffee but the creamer is okay? it’s like soaking but for drugs.

[Bunkie Perkins @BunkiePerkins]

Knee, jail is the original Tonya Harding injury report

[average cholesterol @dotKolin]

i’m the reason her hooba stank

[More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS]

BREAKING: Senator Bernie Sanders and Rep. Summer Lee have introduced the Abolish Super PACs Act.

The bill would cap Super PAC donations from individuals at $5,000 so that billionaires wouldn't be able to influence US elections with outsized spending.

[CORNER CAMPING @dad_dot_jpeg]

not legal in all 50 states lets go change those billboards you fuckin freaks

[anth*ny @oomfpit]

“nobody told me this” and it’s literally the first thing you learn in Lays tricks class

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

massie's defeat proves that the republican party is a pro epstein pro israel cult led by their cult leader, epstein affiliate, servant of israel - donald trump.

[Jacobin @jacobin]

Mayor Zohran Mamdani mocks Ronald Reagan’s infamous quote.

“I can think of nine words more terrifying than ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help…’”

“I worked all day and can’t feed my family.”

[Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren]

I have questions for MrBeast.

[average cholesterol @dotKolin]

united airlines will NOT see the mandate of heaven, god willing

[𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖞❤️‍🔥 @Charlygotyou]

The most disabling symptom of ADHD is the paralysis. It's the deep, internal shame of knowing exactly what to do... and just sitting there, watching yourself not do it.

[Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer]

I think I correctly surmised that "70% of Gen Z brings their parents to their job interviews" was total bogus. THIS is the real epidemic tbh

[tweet davidson @andyreed]

giving claude access to draftkings

[DRUSKI @druski]

How Conservative Women in America act 😂🇺🇸

[Conner O'Malley @conner_omalley]

Irish Zionism

[average cholesterol @dotKolin]

republican millennial woman call that charlie quirk chungus

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

@JDVance Sorry but you were the only baby ever worth choosing crack over. Every time your mom neglected you was justified. Sorry. Amy Adams sucked in that movie too, sorry. Nothing you touch ever goes right. You should try some of Elon’s medicine sometime. Sorry.