Open. Pour. Drink.

Just hanging out collecting all of your idgaf's in a big bag.

[Open. Pour. Drink. @drinkonpatios]

Aprons with pockets are my cargo shorts.

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Welcome to your 50s. Do you have an official naptime yet?

[Lil @Boredom1023]

If you haven't questioned my sanity, we don't talk much.

[🇨🇦SueCorvette🇨🇦 ❎ @suecorvette]

my left boob is itchy. does that mean I’m going to get money or cupcakes?

[Vinyl Witch 🧙🏻 @Aflgirl126]

That contagious laugh that makes me instantly happy when I hear it , those are the things I adore.

[Open. Pour. Drink. @drinkonpatios]

@ok_one_more @annmarieholdsw2 @Hammyinmiami @smileitsfree44 @Eithercryingor @SamNonTheWiser @thisbrokeme @Erin1137 @RiotGrlErin @notmythirdrodeo @mommeh_dearest @KonaSlater @Wishes_She_Was @VikingBut @GretchenVB @Chelle_Coops @JodingersCat @EllaZee5 @dimplesticks @WinningByARose @TheWinegasm @Smooheed @CarbonatedCB @KrackedKiwi @JelinaQuezada @troubleinheels1 @Troublev02 @luvleelyd @PrincesaBallena @Neon_River75 @UncarbonatedCB @Crazy_ButCute2 @FeralFerrell @monikasays3825 @wayward_daycare @justme41767 @AlwaysLovingLif @thomcat101 @Bliss_Missed @donutscoffeeme @littlegiinge @Whiskey4one @SarcasticSadOne @noaccountlurker @DammitErin @thistletat13 @packageoflies @ShyKitten7 @LostInMyWorld97 @poolgoddess918 Thank you, Sassy lady ❤❤ so lucky to be on this list of the loveliest 🥰

[Nope. @Miz_Mental_Case]

How much for that life altering substance?

Ma’am, that’s cyanide.

[Open. Pour. Drink. @drinkonpatios]

@QuiteTheCurious Heyyy gorgeous ❤ xoxo

[Steve @stevehasatweet]

I think my biggest problem is how much control my brain seems to have over all of my thinking.

[Mystical441 @Mystical441]

Has anybody fucked off recently?

[Candace H. @stalingradsnow]

My account is so small that whenever I wake up to 20+ notifications I think, oh my god what did I fucking DO.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

I’ve reached that age where 67% of my electric bill is from using a heating pad on some part of my body.

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

I ran into a stupid neighbor at the grocery store and his first question was what are you doing here? Well Gary, if you must know I'm here to watch the strippers.

[Janie @BeardRidingMinx]

If you cut me open I bleed vodka and cheese

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

I’m officially at an age where I can’t tell if the phone I’m hearing is mine or on television.

[Dov @drnelk]

Onion rings.

What sounds do other vegetables make?

[mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo]

fat tuesday is not fat. it’s fluffy

[Stacey @skittle624]

You would be a lot happier if you ate dessert every night.