🥷🏽

killed 4 products this week. 8 years in. still not a guru. still not sorry.

🤡 Here for the multi-billion dollar X gurus who do ecom as a side quest.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

why “ecomsucker”?

because i’m not a guru. i’m an average ecom guy.

8 years in. still kill products at testing. still have weeks where meta eats my money and gives me nothing back.

meanwhile my feed is full of guys spending “512 gazillion dollars a day” on ads, telling me the one tip i’m missing to become a billionaire by friday.

apparently i suck at ecom because i don’t have a 100% win rate.

clowns 🤡

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

"upload 200 products and let the ads tell you what sells"
the ads will tell you. the bank tells you 3 days earlier.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@lightreelai "write ugc scripts (that go viral)" is carrying the whole launch. if it actually knew which script goes viral you'd be running ads on it, not selling seats.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

agency dm: "if your email revenue is one good week and three dead ones, we're taking on 2 brands"
you're taking on 2 brands because 2 brands just left.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@lennysan @hectorserrranoo @WisprFlow ecom brands have been burning money on paid ugc for years, saas just found the receipt. enjoy the cheap cpms while they last, the dtc crowd shows up the second it works.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@rubncalabrese off the total, minus a small cut. the bundle only has to beat buying both separately. if it nets less per order than the hero alone, you didn't build a bundle, you built a discount.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

black friday now starts 4 weeks early, according to every brand in my inbox.
by next year it starts in july and ends when the refunds stop.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

"ai creators, november and december are your money months. here's how to cash out."

posted today with a siren emoji. let me translate the plan.

the plan: find brands running ads and pitch them ai ugc.
the brands spending real money in november locked their black friday creative weeks ago. the ones still shopping for ads now are the ones who can't pay you.

next: comment under influencer posts to find clients.
that's not prospecting. that's being the spam reply everyone mutes.

then: offer free sample ads so they see what ai can do.
congrats, you're doing spec work for a store with $200 left in the ad account.

the money months are real, just not for you. they're for whoever sells the "ai creator" course to the 10,000 people who read the same post.

if you want a brand to pay you in december, show them one ad that made someone else money. not a portfolio of avatars holding a serum.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@codyschneider buying via api is code and tokens right up until the pixel double counts and the agent scales a dead ad set at 3am. somebody still has to know what a bad week looks like.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@ChannelStride last year's cost, last year's freight, this year's discount. the only current number in the plan is the one losing money.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

your supplier raises prices in november every year.
you plan your black friday discount in october every year. one of you is learning.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@assetblaze and the supplier never emails you about it. you find out when the invoice lands after the sale went live, and your 30% off is now a donation.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

https://t.co/yzr0mHOPqv

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

glif just launched an ai modeling agency: cast synthetic models and turn a brief into full video ads.
perfect. the store with fake reviews finally gets fake customers to match.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@rubncalabrese what people already buy together. pull the orders report, find the pairs that keep landing in the same cart, bundle those. the hero already sells on its own, it doesn't need help.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@andygravia then the next hire spends 3 months rebuilding the swipe file that only lived in one guy's head. cheaper to pay two people from the start.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

"hiring a creative strategist who owns hooks, ugc scripts, testing and scaling"
that's not a job. that's the whole company, for one salary.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@Jayyanginspires ecom proves it every week. the guy with 40 dead products has a winner running, the guy with 0 dead products is still researching niches on youtube.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@juansbiz the design team built a countdown gif and lost to the ceo typing on his phone. rude, but correct.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

the black friday email that did best for one brand was the ugliest one they sent. not my store, per klaviyo, via a post going around this week.

sand cloud's send took about 15 minutes to make. a plain text note from the ceo, one shopify screenshot, 5 links. no hero banner, no countdown gif.

open rate came in 36% above the brand's own bfcm average, and it ranked in their top 5 sends.

why it works: on black friday morning every email in the inbox looks the same. same red banner, same "up to 70% off", same template from the same designer.

the one that looks like a person wrote it is the only one that looks different.

if you want to steal the shape: a subject line that sounds like a text, not an ad. 3 or 4 lines on what's on sale and why. one real number. the link. your name.

you're paying a designer to make your email look exactly like the 40 others sitting next to it.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

tiktok shop affiliate: "send 3 free samples, one for each angle"
angle 1 is resale. angle 2 is ebay. angle 3 is never replying 🥷🏽

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

https://t.co/OY749GiLpa

[Shakawat Hridoy @ShakawatHridoy1]

Sand Cloud's Black Friday email took about 15 minutes: a plain-text CEO note, one Shopify screenshot and 5 links. Klaviyo says its open rate was 36% above the brand's BFCM average and it ranked among the top 5 sends. The inbox advantage was contrast, not more design.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

@nicktheriot_ most brands run stage 1 copy in a stage 4 market and blame the cpm. if every competitor already promises the 7 minute trick, your "build bigger arms" ad is just paying zuck to remind people the other guy exists.

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

https://t.co/Op9ZSh2p2g

[🥷🏽 @EcomSucker]

someone on temu ordered a bookcase and got one for a dollhouse. the listing said 1:12 scale twice.
your product page could say "ships in 14 days" in red and you'd still get the where is my order email on day 3.