Emjaye McDonald

Fast food connoisseur. @TacoBell enthusiast. Larry Hagman once complimented my shoes.

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

Dolly Parton at 76 vs. me at 32

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@ClueHeywood Now do it again but with Golden Girls + Sex and the City.

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@GovernorAnne Broccoli. Get out of here with that mess.

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

Love that the crew on my flight today welcomed us to Dolly Parton International Airport.

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

I’m confused. I thought the complaint was that immigrants refused to assimilate?

[Bo French @bofrench]

I heard UT graduation this year looked like this. I didn’t believe it. The problem is now obviously far worse than anyone imagined.

[eclair @evilclaire]

Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville and this is enforcing a boundary with my mother

[Filthy Armenian @FilthyArmenian]

PostParton depression

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Studies Show Majority Of People Who Say They Don't Want Kids Have Never Flown A Toddler Around In A Laundry Basket While Making Rocket Ship Sounds https://t.co/GZkwrbbiZG

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

MAGNET Exclusive: Premiere Of Pug Johnson's "Lowering The Bar" https://t.co/B0rdDksB2M

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@GovernorAnne Ryan Allison is local and does great work: https://t.co/jpxakvv9a8

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@WGTD_Tracer Make sure you check out The Gilded Palace of Sin too!

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@sillynotabsurd @KatTimpf I can assure you none of us are doing that. Ironically, you missed the Stanley/Owala phenomenon entirely: even our silly little luxury purchases are budget-driven. $40 for the fashionable cup you refill for three years is, in fact, cheaper than 6 bottles of water a day.

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@GovernorAnne What would he look like with a lion cut?

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@GovernorAnne Seriously. Day one of hunter’s ed, my redneck instructor told a room full of 9-12-year-olds: “Don’t be the asshole driving around with a dead animal on display. Buy a goddamn tarp.”

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@MCMTDoesntSuck Right? I’m going to record myself farting into a microphone and upload it as the next Jason Aldean single.

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@WGTD_Tracer The Allman Brothers and Little Feat both belong in the top 3.

[Shrimp Billionaire @fentanylbrownie]

Not a fan of being asked if it’s “my first time” visiting a restaurant. It’s not gonna be that crazy bro.

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@rightwave Kids seem to prefer the Manwich can. My theory is they haven't yet made the wet dog food association.

[a @yyioom]

I didn’t think getting older would happen to me personally ngl

[Emjaye McDonald @emjaye_mcdonald]

@CWaddington504 @simongerman600 This.