Erasmus the Wizard

I'm just doing this for the money.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

With all of this talk of adulting, it makes Twitter sound like it is full of adulterers.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

@KissabiX 😩

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

World's largest marital aid, outside my gym.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

I'm presently witnessing some outstanding customer service in FLL by @SouthwestAir. Nice work, all, glad to be a customer.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

@TheNewOtherMary @TakeUrVitC @BuiltToTopple @dougbies @nonchalantnacho @KissabiX @fakeJuneGriffin I've never had that level of attention before, I feel a little unsure if I should enjoy the pampering.

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

fuck grapefruit in particular

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

@TakeUrVitC @BuiltToTopple @dougbies @nonchalantnacho @KissabiX @fakeJuneGriffin @TheNewOtherMary You're too kind. You know about my nefarious agenda against kittens ❤️

[VitaminC @TakeUrVitC]

FF I'd murder kittens for
@BuiltToTopple
@dougbies
@ErasmusTheWiz
@nonchalantnacho
@KissabiX
@fakeJuneGriffin
@TheNewOtherMary

[Northern Lights 🦖🐢🐸 @PinkCamoTO]

My boss encouraged us to think about why we come to work every day.
I don't think "I need money to live" was the answer she was looking for.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

I'm stuck in Purgatory AKA Chuck E Cheese

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

@redme174 As long as you know, our worlds are in balance. And I'm still creepy.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

@redme174 YOU ARE WORTH MY CREEPY @ REPLY 😩😩

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

@KissabiX Fondue 😩😩😩😩

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

Fidget Spinner, except its just me and my restless leg syndrome.

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

@KissabiX You're the 🐝knees

Sincerely,
🔑f

😂😂😂😩😩😩

[Erasmus the Wizard @ErasmusTheWiz]

When you're feeling pretty bang, and think you wanna clang, onomatopoeia, onomatopoeia.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

I may know a lot of big words, but I find sometimes the 4-letter words are way more effective.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Much like Galactus, I eat planets for breakfast.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Laugh all you want but if reused margarine containers become currency after the apocalypse my mom will be queen of the earth.

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

Pretty sure my new admin assistant is a ninja. She sneaks up on me all the time and I don't hear her coming. Also, because of her nunchucks.