bananannannan

worser than average

[Meggy @igetsoinspired]

Why does the vaccum even have a “low” setting. It’s like no I’m going to need you to clean the floor

[gabe @allgarbled]

Bro, just use the passkey. It’s in the magic link. It’s in your authenticator app. We sent you a code. It’s 2FA with your phone and yubikey. It’s face id. It’s sign in with SSO. Just enable touch id. Do you want to stay signed in? (we’ll log you out anyways)

[Kat @ollkorrect0]

"It's all in your head" yes but unfortunately that's where I am too

[HolidayKirk @HolidayKirk]

"The password you are attempting to use was part of a data breach are you sure you want to continue using it?" blow my house up I don't care

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

The hardest part of being an art thief must be getting your entire crew to agree on what constitutes art.

[maja 🔭🍒 @majamediaco]

The Great Gatsby spoke of this

[Christin @hexprax]

Jalapenos aren't spicy anymore. Or maybe they never were. I don't remember anything that ever happened to me in my life.

[fucking every word @fuckeveryword]

fucking deluded

[Acyn @Acyn]

Trump: A friend of mine is a very obese person. I said, you're an extremely obese person. He's begging me not to mention his name because I'll destroy his reputation. He had some fat drugs. I said: it's not working—you look like shit.

[Milan Cvitkovic @MWCvitkovic]

one must imagine sisyphus engaging with key stakeholders

[🌋 @hum_dunkin]

We set you up something called OneDrive without asking or explaining it, also it's full of bullshit we put in there for you without saying we were gonna do that. And you need to use it. so anytime you want to head in there and spend some time cleaning up should be fine

[Russell “Lebron” Jordan @RJordan25pc]

Liked the ig story. Now all she has to do is reach out to me and plan a date

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

i've learned a lot about myself this year. which is pretty much the worst thing that can happen to somebody

[project hail saturn 💫🪐 @z4kkuras]

At the airport

[redrum @griffisu]

“what are we” WE are waiting for my ex to come back

[Tsar. @floretide]

The art of curating your taste. Things I find chic. How to discover your niche. How to be disgustingly educated. How to be whimsical. Whimsy isn’t just aesthetic. The romanticization of. Deinfluence me. Things to do instead of doomscrolling. Consume consume consume consume cons

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

It’s funny when someone feels affectionate towards their car. Your car is in agony every second you drive it. You are its satan

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

When you click on a tracking number as soon as you get the email and the thing is like, “Uhhhhhh, we were kind of counting on you not clicking on that yet.”

[Alexander @omfuze]

What waking up hungover feels like