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Fiona Byrne. I'm bloody freezing, turn the thermostat up while your dad's out lads.

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@goustocooking thanks for a rubbish delivery, yet again soy sauce packet split and spilt everywhere, have to wash everything and throw some items out. That’s twice recently now, £4 off won’t fix it this time🤬

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@marksandspencer packaging bit excessive for 3 candles isn’t it?🙄

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@daraobriain When my dad was at school they were given the choice of hurling or boxing, he chose boxing because he was less likely to be injured 😂

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@msloobylou Peter Shilton tried to climb in the back of our car thinking it was a taxi

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@bphillipsonMP @educationgovuk He can’t even spell Kevin

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@Lesbian_nan That seat is going to need a good wipe down

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The only chance of seeing a face you know on Celebrity Bridge of Lies is if you sit so close to the TV you can see your own reflection

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@_B___S Same with our good boy (years before he went blind) didn’t realise the other door was open 🤦‍♀️💔

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@BurnsideNotTosh I did Latin, who the f speaks that!

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@SoVeryBritish Peter Shilton tried to get in the back of my dads Ford mondeo when he was picking me up from work, “sorry thought he was my taxi” he said to me

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@Phil_Sledge My Blue, gone 6 weeks now😢

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@TVKev But the parole board said he’d not caused any trouble in prison (no young girls there for him to rape and murder might be the reason). Absolute fools

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@PolygoniaSpec @_Korovyev_ Awww don’t be mean he thought it was the study of ornaments 😂

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@ire_designs @buitengebieden Are you being deliberately a twat? It’s not a fecking “thing” to have a blind dog! Ours went blind through SARDS, it’s bad luck and very sad for him, but still a much loved pet.

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@stephikins1 @dog_rates @PawsofFuryMovie That’s brilliant! Bought a ball with a bell for our blind dog but he just ignores it!

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@BillyM2k Awww so pleased with themselves

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@InspKewley We have an old wind chime hanging from the door key that Blue rings with his nose (can still find it even though he’s blind now)

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@BritishGasHelp reported our washing machine not working on 5th Feb, engineer came out last Thurs, couldn’t repair, supposed to come today between 8 & 1, call at 1 to say can’t come till 24th! Ridiculous! Nearly 3 weeks without a washing machine

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@Almolka @rickygervais That’s wonderful, I’m not sure my husky would be as well behaved, even though he is really gentle

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@archivetvmus71 My son calls me Martin Brice every time I straighten the rug up in the lounge, he’s only in his early 20s but has watched and loved all the series