cold distant father

twitter is a trap

[cold distant father @hot_local_dad]

yo what up twitter i’m tweetin

[cold distant father @hot_local_dad]

@marcorubio Shut the fuck up complicit scum

[cold distant father @hot_local_dad]

@elonmusk @sikorskiradek Idk my optimum works fine and isn’t run by a giant flapping twat

[cold distant father @hot_local_dad]

you’re telling me someone porked these tender loins

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

elon musk [parody] [humor] [any individuals in this text (referred to henceforth as “the tweet”) are named on a satirical basis] [the tweet is not a statement of fact, with protection as codified in 17 USC §107 & affirmed in Hustler Mag v Falwell (1988)]: boy i love sippin piss

[cold distant father @hot_local_dad]

@BayouRedWave @CharlotteManou1 @lilspacethug @dviantsemicolon @drewblagrim @RationalEye @VaushV @elonmusk based on that pic u either a boomer or a gremlin…choose wisely

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

One of the funniest clips in live news history

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

Welcome to 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗧𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥

When you receive 𝟰𝟮𝟬 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦 you will earn 𝟭 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞. When you earn 𝟲𝟵 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗦 you can say 𝗔 𝗦𝗟𝗨𝗥

[Cynthia Doll @cyndollx]

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a fucking second

[luke warm tweets @lukejarret]

me: umm actually that’s Frankenstein’s Monster

friend: oh my bad *puts down energy drink*

Frankenstein: don’t sweat it bro

[Richard Parry @_RichardParry_]

I’ve come up with an interim solution to the queuing issue to see the Queen’s coffin in Westminster, let me know what you think, it’s not perfect but I don’t see anyone else coming up with anything

[cold distant father @hot_local_dad]

@anothercohen say it! say the line!

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

I’ma need names on this one. I just wanna chat.

[fuckmarrywill.bsky.social @fuckmarrywill]

how do people watch this

[wint @dril]

name any crime and i will tell you how I could easily avoid being the victim of it in 2 seconds