Emma Willmann

[The Tonight Show @FallonTonight]

.@IamEmmaWillmann’s conservative dad approves of her girlfriends 🤣 #FallonTonight #StandUp

[Jose Ramon Marquez @joseramonmarmtz]

"Every time I've introduced my dad to a girlfriend, he's been like 'Nice!'": @IamEmmaWillmann. 👍
#FallonTonight

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

Whole Foods on a Sunday is basically Lesbian Happy Hour.

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

The same week I got audited, I punched myself in the face during a boxing class and broke one of my front top teeth.  I told everyone I got audited then the next time they would see me in person, it looked like the IRS broke my face.

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

I love my family. I talk about them all the time! Especially on Tuesdays from two to three, because that's when I'm in therapy

[Louis KC @notlouisckk]

Most estimates I see, say it’s only 4 billion dollars per year to have one police officer at every single elementary and high school during open hours.

If that’s true, it’s a huge shame we continue to spend 10s of billions on wars, bailouts, stimulus, etc every year.

It’s almost as if the government cares more about money and politics over the safety of your kids.

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

People with ADHD are great at multitasking... as long as the tasks are completely unrelated, unnecessary, and done at 3 a.m

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

@MongolianPorch 😂😂😂

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

It's hard to decipher advice on having kids. I've heard: “It's the most rewarding thing.” “My life isn't about me anymore.” “You never know love until you have a child.” “My kids are agents of terror.” All from the same person.

[Mint Comedy @real_mintcomedy]

Uncensored. Unbeatable. Unavailable anywhere else. Don’t miss this Saturday’s livestream from the iconic Comedy Cellar only on https://t.co/d0TZYUUNHD!

Use your favorite comedian’s promo code below to receive 20% off PPV or the first month of your subscription.

Matt Richards - richards
Emma Willmann - willmann
Max Fine - maxfine
Daniel Simonsen - simonsen
Chloe Hilliard - hilliard
LeClerc Andre - leclerc

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

I think therapy is amazing and I think it’s symbolic of a lot of things going wrong that it is so inaccessible.  Why is it that only the rich and really lucky get to cry to a professional

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

#ADHD It's like my brain's on a constant shuffle mode, but instead of music, it's just a playlist of random thoughts and unfinished tasks.

[Laura Peek @laurapeek_]

Imagine spending your plane ride recording a tiktok of a stranger you think is cheating when you could be drinking 2 vodka sodas and watching Michael Clayton

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

It's difficult to get advice on whether or not to have kids.  I've heard:  'It's the most rewarding thing.  My life isn't about me anymore.  You never know love until you have a child.  My kids are agents of terror.'  All from the same person.

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

Remember when email address handles were just your A/S/L?  Just a layup for identity fraud??

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

Every time I realized I needed a therapist, I was in no condition to find a therapist.

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

I’m such a people pleaser, if the police ever questioned me, I would confess to anything. “Can you tell us where you were last night?” “I KILLED KENNEDY! It was me!"

[Mint Comedy @real_mintcomedy]

Uncut, uncensored, unbeatable. Watch our livestream of a full 2 hour standup show from the iconic @ComedyCellarUSA this Saturday, only on https://t.co/d0TZYUUNHD!

Featuring:
@JamesLmattern
@harrisoncomedy
@MEATBRICKMOLLY
#ethansimmonspatterson
@IamEmmaWillmann
@ChrisPJTurner

#comedy #standup #standupcomedy

[Emma Willmann @IamEmmaWillmann]

I feel awful saying this, but I bite it sometimes and then I feel like a monster! the key with the bite is to warm it a little in your hands first. Yes, I am disgusting!!!!!

[Irene Tu @irene_tu]

Why does string cheese taste disgusting when you bite it but delicious when you string it?

[New York Comedy Club @nycomedyclub]

@michaelkosta @IamEmmaWillmann @JordanRock843 @AshleyAustinMo1 @lizmiele @RobbySlowik @joederosacomedy @ENeum @noredavis @mrseanpatton 🔥 @KrystynaHutch, @ENeum, @AshleyAustinMo1, @EagleWitt at 10:15p at EAST VILLAGE

Get tix⤵️
https://t.co/l9KesAgrwi