Darbs

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

Toasters are just Jack-in-the-box with bread

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

The amount of times I’ve used the arm of my sunglasses to stir a drink is obscene.

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

Grey’s Anatomy really goes and kills off a main character and has the audacity to play their closing credits jingle immediately after 🥲

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

My toxic trait is thinking I need to get a tattoo in every city I visit.

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

I could hear the jaws drop on that goal @EdmontonOilers @CalgaryF

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

gonna need the whole town of Banff to be on their best behaviour today - my parents are in town

[Nate Wawrzonek @Poli_Nate]

For me to come back from the arctic circle and have it be the same fucking temperature in Banff is such shit.

The sun helps though.

[Nate Wawrzonek @Poli_Nate]

I'd love for the voting age to be lowered to 10 just to see how parties would adjust their campaign strategies.

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

do you think babies will just grow up and eventually take over their insta accounts that their parents started for them? because some kids are SERVING

[natalie @american_sicko]

Girls will say shit like “oh I haven’t played Mario kart in a while I might be kinda bad” and then wait for the countdown to hit you with “I played competitively on Japanese servers for eight years”

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

when you get hired and your new boss is like "this isn't a job this is a family"

[Rachel Notley @RachelNotley]

For the record, and because so many of you have rightfully asked, all 24 NDP MLAs are here in Alberta and have been for the duration of the holidays.
We take the public health orders seriously.
#ableg #abhealth

[Jake @Brewski4428]

Maybe if I buy another aloe vera plant I won't have to shave my eyebrows off because of an existential crisis

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

Nothing says welcome back to Edmonton quite like getting passed by a lifted truck going a buck forty on the henday with a bumper sticker that reads ‘the planet is fine, liberals are fcked’

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

You got tricked by Borat last week

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

Ew, David 💅🏼

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

The surgeon told me that after my breast reduction surgery my body shape would go from an hourglass to more of a triangle. So I said to her make sure it’s acute one.

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

The amount of times I’ve tried to nap and ended up in a 2 hour tiktok frenzy is getting out of hand

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

still thinking about how they wanted to make a radio friendly version of WAP and they went with wet and gushy, arguably the grossest thing they could’ve come up with

[Darbs @itsdarbsss]

@EmmettHanly Sus