James

My tweets; views my own (obviously)

[James @jannable9]

Made some terrible life choices the last few years.

Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions.

[Life Quotes @RTLifeQuotes]

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.

[James @jannable9]

Every. Single. Day.

[Outback Phil @geowizzacist]

The difference between a town and a village is a town can be funky and a village has people send tweet

[James @jannable9]

Leg day sucks.

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

Hansel and Gretel is my favorite story about eating children.

[Kanye’s bhole @bossy_bootz]

Guys are always 'just kidding' unless you say yes

[❤️‍🔥Sardonic Tart❤️‍🔥 @SardonicTart]

Stay hydrated during the day so you can wake up three times during the night to pee.

[Swishergirl @Swishergirl24]

when I was younger we didn’t have ipads we just stared at the back of the cereal box.

[✨Ms_Ashhole ✨ @MsAshBash420]

My kid has issues 🤔 👀

[Chincha @chincha33]

A walk-in closet sounds exhausting!

I need a walk-in & sit-down closet.

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

Things drunk me has in common with toddlers:

- no idea where my shoe is
- demands McDonalds
- won’t shut up about dinosaurs
- not allowed to have a whistle

[FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud]

Me: I can’t believe I’m only discovering Fleetwood Mac now.

Girlfriend: I’ve heard Rumours

Me: No, it’s true Sandra. They’re an actual band.

[Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt]

*puts a hotdog behind my ear like a cigarette*

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

White Chocolate is just like regular Chocolate except it has no rhythm.

[Fickle Filly @Fickle_Filly]

Sorry I gave you the impression that I’m normal.

[James @jannable9]

Tweeting again after a few years is concerning but not as troubling as the fact most accounts I followed are still here 😂

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

me: Have you seen my keys?
wife: No. Did you check your pocket?
me: Yeah
wife: Both of them?
me [mocking] "Both of them?”
wife:
me *finds keys* No