Jared Faurschou

Where ever you go, There you are.

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

I want a Back to the Future sequel, but only about the 12-hour gap after Doc drops Marty off in 1985 and before he comes back screaming about their kids. That man got into some serious shit overnight, and I need to know what happened. #bttf1point5

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Can you take the gift and accept my invitation? Only 2 steps, take your free gifts from top-notch activity TEMU Free Gifts and help me get mine!
https://t.co/OqzqfmvMVK

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Can you do me a favor? Just accept this invitation, up to $50 for each of us!!
https://t.co/NuxkyzbuEH

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Can you accept my invitation so that I can get 5 free gifts ? I‘m claiming 5 free gifts, valued at $168.75
https://t.co/BIBe42NdiR

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Who is JoJo Siwa…? And why do I want to punch her in the face relentlessly?

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Worn glasses since I was 10 when I got my first pair. I always hate getting new ones & sitting there like an idiot while the optometrist asks “1 or 2, 1 or 2” it makes me wonder when I see babies wearing glasses, or is the doc just taking a wild guess? #ShowerThoughts

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

@richardmarx #1 for sure!

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

@KariByron And play the MacGyver theme while doing for an added bonus.

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Hey @littlecaesars this is an #extramostbestest sausage pizza? I count 20 sausage crumbles on this thing.. call it what it is. Cheese pizza with some sausage.

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

@JFKairport @JetBlue Thanks @jfkairport don’t think it will do any good. Left CUN yesterday 1.5 hrs late, missed our connection in jfk, literally shut the door in My child’s face. Spent the night on my own dime to fly out later tonight, never flying @jetblue or @jfkairport again.

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Hey @JetBlue maybe it would be “helpful” if you had more than two people “helping” @JFKairport I’ve been waiting forever.. I already missed my connection because of your lack of “helping” or change your sign.

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

I think it’s time @nbcsnl should consider having @WilliamZabka host an episode. He’s proven his comedy chops, and @CobraKaiSeries is one on of the hottest shows this year. #hashbrown #sweeptheleg #strikefirststrikehardnomercy #cobrakaineverdies

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

We are go for launch! Feeling like a kid again watching @SpaceX and #Falcon9 preparing for launch. Awesome job @elonmusk for getting this off the ground, #literally #LaunchAmerica #GoDragon #GoBobandDoug #Godspeed

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Officials are saying it’s okay to drink the tap water, no need to boil it or anything... which is good news... Unless you live in Magna, it was never a good idea to drink it before the earthquake, so, do what you want now... #magnastrong

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Lets see...
Drunken Bar Piano playing? Check.
Shirtless Beach Volleyball? Check.
Total disregard for authority? Check.
Tom “Iceman” Kazansky? I certainly hope so.. @valkilmer https://t.co/wrFkAIArwg

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Sometimes life just sucks... other times the sprayer on the bidet hits just right. #lifegoals

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Opening a Papa John’s right next door to a Weight Watchers in a strip mall was a brilliant strategy on that franchise owner.

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Thank you @disneyplus and @Jon_Favreau for only releasing one episode of @themandalorian today, otherwise I would have got no work done today.. but I will watch it again for a third time....

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

Not to brag or anything... but I win every argument I have with my wife... in mind...

[Jared Faurschou @jaredfaurschou]

If @disney doesn’t put the Star Wars Holiday Special on the new streaming disneyplusservices ... I’m boycotting... #imisslumpy https://t.co/dpoHCmn0yG