jcgreen

I once wrestled a bear in a Russian circus. Ok that's a lie. It was in the kitchen. And it was a bag of potato chips.

[jcgreen @jcgreen]

Kennedy suspends campaign but brain worm to remain on the ballot

[Sean O'Neill @SeanOhhhh]

MAGA!

[🇺🇸ProudArmyBrat @leslibless]

This is better than any Olympics! 😁

[pourmecoffee @pourmecoffee]

Every time Stephen Miller comes on I feel pain where the Nazgul stabbed me.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Usha Vance Gently Corrects RNC Usher Attempting To Deport Her https://t.co/DBciRccpV4

[Pat Cavlin @pcavlin]

And now we wait… get some sleep #Houston it’s gonna be a long morning

#Beryl #HurricaneBeryl #khou11 @KHOU

[Garry Kasparov @Kasparov63]

Well he would, since he wrote it.

[Steve Martin @UnrealBluegrass]

Still makes me smile.

[eve @eveforamerica]

Pool-side BBQ.

Me like 😂

[jcgreen @jcgreen]

Check out Oatmeal’s Story! https://t.co/wwiDo69SFp

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

BREAKING: Donald Trump becomes the first actor from Home Alone 2 to be convicted of 34 felonies stemming from hush money payments to a porn star

[Verifried Drunk™®© @VerifiedDrunk]

Pessimism is great.
You're either always right or pleasantly surprised.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Coffee should be free for anyone born before 1986.

[RUTH BUZZI @Ruth_A_Buzzi]

I’d like to write a Yelp review of the moon’s first restaurant:

“Good food, lots of parking, but very little atmosphere.”