jodes

[jodes @jidu1980]

@Tesco what fresh hell is this?! Driest.sandwich.ever ☹️

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

I spy with my little eye- [neighbor's light goes on]

*holds breath*

[light goes off] -something that rhymes with kitties.

[Chez Jules @ChezJules]

Few dishes from our gastro evening! So tasty! Our next one is Feb 22nd #frenchfood #fresh #chezjules #chestertweets call 01244400014 to book

[Steph Johnson @ScouseBirdBlogs]

Me before kids: Urgh I'm following you not your kid, enough with the pics!

Me after kids: SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKAS! You're following my kid now

[phone home @summers_sonny]

A threesome, but me and two drinks.

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

I never feel hate more as I do whenever I see someone successfully flying a kite

[Noodles @Dawn_M_]

him - you smell great what ya wearing?
me - coleslaw

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

My kids built a clubhouse with all of my wife's old dildos and called it Fort Dix.

[Wake @Wakenbake77]

I dont work out, but sometimes I'll let people go through my phone for 30 secs to get my heart rate up.

[Chez Jules @ChezJules]

#mood #humpday #mercredi #chezjules #chester

[jodes @jidu1980]

Natalie is the kitten heel of this years #BBUK nobody fucking likes them

[jodes @jidu1980]

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Cause he kneaded a poo 💩💩💩

I'm here all night

[Giuly @Princessofwifi]

When you're ignoring someone's text but u accidentally view their snap story:

[Cabo 🍳🇺🇸 @Shot_Of_Cabo]

Inlaws are here having a huge argument over whether or not their dog licks her ass.

Don't have heart to tell em their daughter licks mine.