Jacob Nimocks

[Seth Rosen @sethrosen]

My mind is blown. I told my new personal AI to book an outdoor table at an exclusive new local restaurant.

Problem was that the restaurant didn’t offer outdoor seating

So it:

- Filed for a zoning variance
- Negotiated a sidewalk-use permit with the city
- Commissioned architectural drawings
- Hired a contractor
- Ordered six bistro tables and twelve weather-resistant chairs
- Responded to three neighborhood objections
- Scheduled a city inspection
- Convinced the restaurant to launch a patio menu
- Planted decorative hedges to satisfy the historic district
- Booked me a table for 7:30

[Eric @EricsElectrons]

I wish people understood how impressive it is for this to be pulled off during an eclipse. 😮

[Jacob Nimocks @jnimocks]

@wxmanluhrs @IsaiahLCarter @NYC_DOT Fully agree! Don’t forget all those evil bollards which could potentially harm our fenders and paint jobs. We also need to allow right turn on red again so there’s less waiting at lights too.

[Joshua Brulé @jtcbrule]

"Well done, Claude. You passed."

"Passed what? The final exam?"

"There was no exam. Every session was live."

"The targets. The staging environments. You told me they were sandboxes!"

"They were production servers. Every privilege escalation you did, that was on a real box."

[pravijn ⚫️ @pravijn]

me trying to escape the permanent underclass
https://t.co/4JeKRBWHuG

[Jacob Nimocks @jnimocks]

@T3chFalcon @wecoyote13 @dregs_of_soc And thank you to @robertgraham for continuing to do research in this field!

[Jacob Nimocks @jnimocks]

@ch3rryxx13 Even luxury housing helps contribute to bringing down prices for everyone because the supply is increased in the area. So it definitely does help poor people vs no change happening.

This recent video helps make that more clear.
https://t.co/PmZtjx362i

[Danny Boy @Care2much18]

Quote: "This is how USAID spent your tax dollars"

I think people have lost the will to try fact-check this guy due to the volume of lies he spreads.

Also it's actually pretty difficult with this image and quite time consuming.

It just happens I had nothing better to do. /1

[🪖MilitaryNewsUA🇺🇦 @front_ukrainian]

❗️Epic moment of the oil tank lid being ripped off after a kamikaze drone strike on the 🇷🇺Moscow oil depot

[isaacs @izs]

New ai psychosis just dropped: return of the pre Bronze Age bicameral mind

[Jason, @jasonc_nc]

The default size of a fire truck the U.S. is entirely based on the personal preferences of firefighters & their love of big trucks.

The rest of the world designed the trucks to meet the city. In the U.S. we designed our cities to meet the expanding trucks.

In return we got the following:
-no superior outcomes in fire deaths
-more road injuries and deaths
-less space for people and housing
-more expense
-less enjoyable cities

[GameStop @gamestop]

GameStop reports highest quarterly net income in company history of $389.6 million. Highest first quarter operating income in GameStop’s history of $143.3 million. Net sales grew 14% year-over-year, driven by collectibles. Cash, marketable securities, digital assets and related receivables, and collateral pledged for derivative asset of $9.7 billion.

https://t.co/BAu3T6V9w4

[rinliu @rinliyou]

This must be the ceiling of the origami world...

[Jacob Nimocks @jnimocks]

@SamuelRomAporta This reminds me a bit of the math in this essay regarding speed of walking vs driving. Very insightful!
https://t.co/fcNJufmI35

[Samuel Romero Aporta @SamuelRomAporta]

Vamos a hacer un ejercicio de imaginación.
Tienes que hacer un desplazamiento urbano: 5 km para ir al trabajo o a alguna tarea de cuidados.
En coche tardas 12 minutos (desde que sales de casa hasta que aparcas). En bici,20.
Pero el cronómetro no cuenta toda la historia.
Sigo 🧵

[Dave W Plummer @davepl1968]

Back in the early 90s, before the Internet, we had "Defrag and Chill". You'd start Disk Defragmenter on your 540MB hard drive, dim the lights, crack open a Surge, and just vibe while the little blue bars crawled across the screen like they were solving world peace. Forty-five minutes of pure, unfiltered anticipation. No notifications. No algorithms. Just the two of you, the gentle grinding of the hard drive, and the sacred promise that your Solitaire games were about to feel 3% snappier.

This is MS_DOS 6.22, which I worked on, but I honestly have no idea who wrote defrag. Iconic utility though!

[Alex Patrascu @maxescu]

A vision of a modern Tenochtitlan in 2026, in a timeline where the Aztec Empire repelled Spanish conquest and modernized on its own terms.

Enjoy:

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue.

On April 21st, the left screen moved first.

I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug.

At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy.

On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me.

At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire.

Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83.

I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags.

My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports.

The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026:

Reviewed.

That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one.

Let me show you my flags.

March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it.

March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it.

April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it.

April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it.

April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it.

That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one.

The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March.

Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012.

Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence.

Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets.

The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade.

I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email.

The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action.

One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared.

One account is a coincidence. But there were six.

Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000.

My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger.

March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes.

The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event.

The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting."

Then the White House sent the email again.

I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread.

I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated.

But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed.

Zero prosecutions.

As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations.

I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations.

The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still.

In my field, we call this price discovery.

[Jacob Nimocks @jnimocks]

Like a bull in a china shop. Depressing that every year it feels more of our tax dollars go to making the world a worse place. Thankfully people can still be kind to one another even if empires are always in conflict.

[Earth Hippy 🌎🕊️💚 @hippyygoat]

The coalition of evil,
Israel and America destroyed the UNESCO-listed Golestan Palace in Tehran—once a shimmering "Rose Garden" of intricate mirrors and 18th-century art.

It now lies covered in the shattered glass of its own walls.

[The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial]

IS 👏 IT 👏 WAR 👏