Jonny Callan

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

Labour, Tories, Lib Dems and Greens: I demand you stand down in Clacton. I will be a unity candidate and pledge to build at least one affordable house.

Nigel Farage says he wants The People versus the Establishment. So be it.

Leave him to me.

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@LNER When youve worked out the resolution itll do your customer relations some favours if you make it public how you intend to compensate passengers (more than free fare) on 25/04 1140 leeds-london kings cross, who were stuck on the train without aircon for 3hrs, total delay of 5hrs.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet she’s about to open.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Got back from the pub after a good night. Felt the need to empty my bowels. Also felt the need for some science. Laid a good sized turn in the dishwasher, put in a tablet with a powerball, turned it on. The morning was dreadful. In future I'll rely on thought experiments.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

I give a certain “we’ll figure it out when we get there” energy that can be a bit stressful for my “planner” wife.

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

This has to be an offence - reckless flag-shagging morons like this are going to injure someone or worse.

[Peter Jukes @peterjukes]

All those trying to turn Lucy Connolly into a martyr for free speech ought to read the appeal court findings. The police record of her lies on arrest is very interesting

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Packed all my good clothes for vacation so now I have to wear all my worst clothes for the rest of the week.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

I’ve only the time for one. Do I go for gnomes or owls?

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

If i'm in the garden and my neighbour is in the bathroom I can hear him singing. When he's in the shower he sings this really haunting, emotional ballad that has the lyrics "chippy teas, you did this to me". The song and his voice are amazing but I can't tell him that.

[Nigel Norman @LevelDesignNige]

Claudia: "Faithful, what are you doing? The Traitors are smashing it."
Linda:
#TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Watched the new Wallace & Gromit film at Christmas and have started saying "NEAT AND TIDY" in a high-pitched voice like the robot gnome every time I do any household chores. Wife is so irritated she is currently not speaking to me.

[SHG @SamAychG]

Lisa when she’s inevitably recruited… #TheTraitors

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@NoContextCrap @AdamDoverUK

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@Village_Hotels Pushing me back round to having my emails ignored isnt all that helpful.

Another turn on the merry-go-round of unhelpful responses

Do not book with @Village_Hotels

Absolutely shocking from top to bottom

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@Village_Hotels what is your policy regarding compensating guests whos rooms you have given away due to overbooking?

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@Village_Hotels @CitizensAdvice @TradeStandards @CMAgovUK please can you provide me with some advice on the above?

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@Village_Hotels Very disappointing from @Village_Hotels feels like theyve got their hands in their pockets and just looking at the floor. If it goes wrong then youll be left to foot the bill - stay away from village hotels!! Not worth the carry on.

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@Village_Hotels Hotel im talking about is the walsall one off the m6

[Jonny Callan @jonny_callan]

@Village_Hotels If id have known you overbook with no intention of sorting customers who travel a bit later id obviously not have bothered and wouldve rather gone somewhere else in the first place. How do you propose resolving this?