rusty shackleford

:)

[claire @claireyael]

You can be my fat kate moss tonight

[rusty shackleford @k8linb]

@IterIntellectus Very untrue

[rusty shackleford @k8linb]

@wildthoughts34 @charlieworth_ Issa fiddle

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

my uncle lost his life to an IED during the Iraq war but it’s because he built one in his garage in Lowell, Massachusetts and he forgot where he put it

[littleapostate @littleapostate]

I think it’s more the not sleeping, being unable to sit, wearing adult diapers, bleeding for a month straight, curling your toes in pain when you try and fail and try and fail to learn how to breastfeed, being unable to even take a shower you’re so afraid of leaving your baby, having zero alone time, ever, while husband still gets to run out and gym or grab a beer with friends. Your world becomes the walls of your house while his is still the world

Giving birth/being a freshly postpartum woman is the hardest thing i have ever done and a man will never have to go through it

God knew you would be too gay and weak

[Klonopin Centaur @facetedcarapace]

The less specific the name of a Christian church is, the more evil it is. If your church is called something like Immaculate Southern Methodist Congregants of Christ you're probably normal but if it's called C R O S S R O A D S, you are in danger.

[carlee @warmcanofbeans]

You used to call me on my Dale phone

[squeaky fromme the block @averpee]

A few decades ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Big Pussy. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash, and no Pussy.

[Calvin @RealCalvin1]

It's pretty funny how cities can't fix the endless potholes and cracks in the roads but have the money to put surveilance camera's everywhere.

[sarah🥭 @lenkerlesbian]

at 65 people should be sipping lemonade on a porch somewhere, instead they have to write pages begging people to treat them like human beings while working for minimum or less

[bwert?! @trebla___]

having a chopped dyed undercut combover is a rite of passage for the average weird social outcast white boy in the south everyone complaining is a coastal elite

[COCO @TWOTIMESABITCH]

a lot of people don’t realize the dust bowl wasn’t a natural phenomenon. it happened when agrobusiness interests dramatically transformed the plains without regard for drought, and created vicious dust storms that choked whole families to death. that’s what i think of when i read about data centers.

[َ @saintava]

i remember learning about weed for the first time as a kid and thinking "yeah this is something i'll likely be involved in"

[Taco Bell Quarterly @TBQuarterly]

The Taco Bell finger pointing is a psyop to redirect attention from the real culprit, the deregulation and lack of oversight in our food supply. pass it along and live más comrade

[mika @mikasagrada]

quando você finalmente lava a roupa e todas as suas roupas favoritas voltam a ficar disponíveis:

[faboolah @azninthesun]

the “you fucking the text man for texts” woman should win a nobel prize

[davey @justdaveyjustin]

Breathing in hefty lungfuls of smoke as I get explosive diarrhea from salad, the sky turns apocalyptic orange while oil companies drill in protected lands, screwworms are eating cattle alive and the president just paid $6 million for rape. And I’m also able to bet on all of it!

[More Luigis Needed @LisaA311]

If your line cook died and you replaced them with a random sibling your restaurant would likely fail immediately but apparently being a senator requires less experience than being a line cook