Friendly Neighborhood Shaman

The moon is actually just light refracting through the liquid nitrogen pool of your subconsciousness as you sleep

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

I'm a recovered alcoholic who just turned 30, so my entire life was spent in varying degrees of drunkenness. The most poignant years were my teenage years, where I perfected the art of being wasted beyond recognition yet still getting laid. Every time i go back home for Christmas, I drink to reacquaint myself with that old feeling & it always fails me. It's like trying to relive the first time you watched your favorite movie by watching it again, but this time you're doing coke & have fucked up expectations from all the times before. Instead I spend my nights going on cathartic drives listening to my favorite music, which is whatever's playing on Triple J at 1am when noone else is awake. After smoking a cig I run back inside to check if anyone saw me & am relieved everytime they didn't, though I feel more shameful than relieved because I know I could never let anyone see me indulge like that as an adult, since it goes against the narrative that I've been sober for over 7 years now. Maybe one day I'll give into temptation & succumb to the pleasures of drinking alone while listening to country music, but until then I'll continue to channel all the pain from my past into creative projects.

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@elonmusk no, they were all actively trying to get women pregnant

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@stoolpresidente It's not his fault he couldn't hold it in for another minute. That's what u got me watching porn for

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@stoolpresidente You're doing it wrong, instead of declaring neutrality try calling out both sides equally as retards & then ask for money from each side separately, that way u can just buy blow & rent porn from ppl who lost their livelihoods

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@stoolpresidente The bitch must be a lesbian because she looks like she'd rather get fucked by a man than fuck a woman

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@eigenrobot These white boys who like anime never knew a girl named Miyu

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@rauchg it's gonna go to penalties

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@sama It's the same amount of shock & awe whether it's from an infant human or an AI program

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@jposhaughnessy @osvllc @JedryszekJan Catch me if u can but i'll just pull over & go through your pockets for weed money as you walk back to ur car

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

Lmao @ me i was gonna say "real men don't drink water & eat shit"

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@eigenrobot & Morty's a bad example of how anime sucks & that it's all pedophilia. In reality I've seen some hentai where the woman looks like she'd give good head

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@rauchg You look like the type to enjoy listening to an alt-right podcast as you furiously jerk off to anime hentai, feeling guilty for being an edgelord but too addicted to all of it to quit.

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@eigenrobot A great man once said "Think for yourself". He was talking about crypto which is the antithesis of mass media & collective hive mind. But no, you think I'm referring to conspiracy theories like 9/11 truthers who love the Taliban cuz they're anti-vaxxers

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@cz_binance So I guess u wanna be like a farmer who sows seeds daily & waits for them all to sprout into something worth harvesting before he feels any sense of fulfillment? That's how the Jews did it back in the day

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@paulg same here i was actually rooting for Qatar

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@jposhaughnessy @osvllc @JedryszekJan did u test ur smart contract for bitcoin and ethereum?

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@VitalikButerin The Stawman Protocol (SMP)

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@Aella_Girl yeah but you're not black or latino & if u were they would never let u get away w/that

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@stoolpresidente @lifelineanimal i'd rather see them go homeless than donate to an animal charity

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@eigenrobot you just gotta put in more work if u wanna get away wit it

[Friendly Neighborhood Shaman @kaelcorwin]

@Jason you need to find a higher body count