TheKiebs

Shits & giggles are fun or we wouldn't do things for them.

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

Losing a pacifier is like losing the pin to a grenade.

[Sonof Mosta @Sonof_Mosta]

Me trying to figure out how long I have to live if my job shuts down due to the coronavirus
#coronapocalypse

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

Hey @chrisbharrison, can we talk about @PethDerek for bachelor?

Talk to me.

[Jess 🌵💙🥴 @jessiejess1228]

The perfect wedding invitation doesn’t exi-.....

[aly @alymoemaly]

PSA even when you add song lyrics to your selfie it's still a selfie.

[gregb @BadaBinge]

Procrastinators are eternally optimistic, we never forget there's always tomorrow.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Anybody who thinks I'm "pro-life" has not read the Bible very closely.

[Ryan v2.0 @Mr57percent]

Baby, there are a lot of fun things we can do in bed. Have you ever felt the pleasure of 8 hours of sleep?

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

Just waiting for the official "Dynamic Duo Podcast" with @demi_burnett @jordan__kimball like...

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

No one needs to defend either side. @scooterbraun can offer to sell her the rights to own her music, and @taylorswift13 can buy it if she chooses. If something means this much to someone, Braun should make this happen...cause he can.
#showusthegoodinpeople

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

I’m at that age where when someone calls me “mam”, I internally rage, and when someone calls me “miss” or “young lady” I internally do a pirouette, a tripel axel and then land in the splits.

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

MLM is the new mental illness.

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

Been thinking of getting a van lately cause I think it would simplify my life.
That's it.
That's the joke.

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

Kids are balls and chains... of love at least.

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

Due to current and recent behaviours, my son is a honey badger

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

It cost 0$ to cut you out of my life, ...
and I love free shit.

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

After I'm done losing my shit, I'm pretty inspired how my son can freak the fucking-fuck out whenever, wherever, and however loud he wants.

[KangaRufio @Topangaroo]

Eminem should write a song about Donald Trump and fix all of this.

[Daddy Whorebucks @KisoRufuku]

If you have to explain how racist you aren't...you're probably the most racist person I see that week.

[TheKiebs @kiebi]

Testosterone is a disability.

Men should be compensated.