killorn

Pun dumpster.

[killorn @killorn]

Never forget

[Alex Killorn @Akillorn19]

@killorn who are you? What is your meaning?

[killorn @killorn]

@adidasoriginals Purchase page won’t load for Gucci Gazelles on Confirmed app. Been trying since release on 8/25 - tech issue or shipment delay?

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

all I'm saying is that President Email Lady wouldn't be telling us to drink bleach

[Mark Peters @wordlust]

So excited for the season finale of America.

[killorn @killorn]

Raspberry Bereaved #prince

[killorn @killorn]

@mileskahn

[killorn @killorn]

Purrlington Cat Factory

[killorn @killorn]

Walgreen’s is playing “Hong Kong Garden.” There’s hope for humanity yet.

[killorn @killorn]

Fourth Meal at Tiffany’s

[killorn @killorn]

@phelpsroadclub HOW DID I NOT KNOW YOU WERE PRODUCING TRUE TORI THIS IS AMAZING SO MANY QUESTIONS

[killorn @killorn]

“He is RZA” ~ Rap Easter

[killorn @killorn]

@SortaBad @sweet_toof what up Butthole Club circa 2011

[killorn @killorn]

@sweet_toof dude. JOHN GOODMAN READ WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT HIS BALL GREASE ON TV.

[killorn @killorn]

@sweet_toof Here’s John Goodman reading your tweet on Kimmel tonight: http://t.co/FCb2DdX46A

[killorn @killorn]

@sweet_toof !!!!!!!!!

[killorn @killorn]

“Wrong number” would have been appropriate, but where’s the fun in that? Meet Corey, my new foreverbro.

[killorn @killorn]

“Use the receipt, Luke.” ~ Returning the Jedi

[killorn @killorn]

If you leave the mall today without two black eyes and a stranger’s earlobe in your mouth, you’ve missed the point of America entirely.

[killorn @killorn]

“Hug the Police!” ~ Nice Cube

[killorn @killorn]

People who wear Bluetooth headsets always look like the people least likely to ever receive phone calls.