Maria Bortz

The 3 C's in life: Choice, Chance, Change. You must make the Choice, to take the Chance, if you want anything in life to Change.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

*Low battery* *Low battery* *Low battery* Well apparently you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

School Supplies: 1. Cellphone. 2. Charger 3. Headphones 4. iPod 5. Snacks 6. Homework. That I copied 7. Money

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

[Jennifer Green @vasimaa1]

Money can't buy you happiness, but I'd rather cry in a mansion.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

You aint bout that life HOE!!!

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

That awkward moment when you want to scare someone but they take too long to come out.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

Am I on twitter? Hell yeah! Did I text back? Fuck no! Did I see your subtweet? Surely did. Do I give a fuck? Fuck no!

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

You can always spot the living dead by their wedding ring.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

Never give up on the things you can't go days without thinking about.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

Dear new generation, The Lion King was during our generation, Just because it came out in 3D doesn't make it yours. Sincerely the 90s kids

[Keva Hartley @DiyaginMr]

Usually I'm remarkably good natured. Try me on a day that doesn't end in y.

[Wen Kennedy @KhrapalSola]

If you're a small guy in prison, I bet the worst cellmate you could get would be a big angry ventriloquist who misses his dummy.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

NO, you don't have "haters". People just don't like you. Get over yourself.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who knows what's going on?

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

It's been 10 years... Face it, Spongebob, you're not going to get your license.

[Maria Bortz @kolionteva]

Throwing your phone in anger, then checking if it's still okay.