Zach Zalowitz

Corporate whore, Guitarist, Pancake enthusiast, ATLien

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

SCIENTISTS: “We’ve produced the first-ever image of a supermassive Black Hole, 55-million light years away”
RESPONSE: “Oooh!”

SCIENTISTS: “We’ve concluded that humans are catastrophically warming Earth”
RESPONSE: “That conflicts with what I want to be true, so it must be false”

[nick kroll @nickkroll]

Because I am George Papadopoulos.

[Inc. @Inc]

Work, sleep, family, fitness, or friends: pick three. https://t.co/G55D3tQfQb

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

@B1GP7 @Remroum @mehdirhasan @KamalaHarris Yep. That’s a good thing

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

@Atosmania @dadooron @Remroum @hizzle7 There are key historic events that took place through the progression you’re showing. Present the whole story - what happened during each of these?

[Dan Pfeiffer @danpfeiffer]

Hypothetically - bear with me for a moment - what if someone - say a reality TV star - spent years slandering an American President with a batshit crazy conspiracy theory about where that President was born?

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

I don't know if this is true but #tuckercarlsonfuckshisroomba #johnoliver #eggboy #worstauntever #foxnews #cnn #Trump

[Last Week Tonight @LastWeekTonight]

If you post about our show tonight, please remember to use these hashtags: #justanormalaunt
#auntfromnothell
#tuckercarlsonfuckshisroomba

[Gary Vaynerchuk @garyvee]

Would love for you to check out this vid and share you 0.02 on this subject - share with a friend who needs to hear this

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

Why is nobody talking about the fact that Jose Conseco is accusing him?

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

Alex Rodriguez Is Being Accused Of Cheating On Jennifer Lopez After Announcing Their Engagement https://t.co/kq2AaJh7Qx

[Brian Beutler @brianbeutler]

Pour one the fuck out. https://t.co/eGkpraUFRR

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

@BernieSanders

[The Economist @TheEconomist]

Baths are their own world, a space for working or relaxing, either shared or private, boiling or bitterly cold https://t.co/L0WVZDy7Ox

[Khary Penebaker @kharyp]

“If he ever tries to get it built (the wall), the American tax payer will pay for it” - @HillaryClinton in August 2016 #FakeTrumpEmergency

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

@IsaacA08 @SarahKSilverman Terrible @IsaacA08

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

True

[Paul Graham @paulg]

Lies spread faster than the truth because people need lies more. It's easy to find confirmation for correct beliefs, but confirmation for mistaken ones is rare. So people with mistaken beliefs are starving for confirmation of them, and eagerly consume anything that offers it.

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

Maroon 5 articles of clothing now gone #maroon5

[Zach Zalowitz @kosherpork]

Much better show today @chucktodd on @MeetThePress . Better dialogue between the guest. Helps to have a 5th person there.