Kevin Girard

Writer, Rocker, Bon Vivant, Libertine

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@3YearLetterman Well coach, here in Boston, I was torn. BC's head coach just financed a waterbed and BU keeps mumbling about hockey but in the end I chose the side that actually knows what a pick 6 is.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@MrJamesMay Press the door close and the floor you want at the same time.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

I've been gone for a while. Why is everybody all worked up about Dale Earnhardt Inc? I thought Folks loved DEI.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@2Edgy2

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@soulcoughing_ Only two shows on this tour: is Chicago and is not Chicago.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@jc1gpd02132 @tes_poli @crosswalkcru Does your home have two commas in its valuation? Is the fire department/your home owner's insurance company going to let you install and maintain a centrally monitored fire alarm system? I'm saying I don't make a living wage and I can kill a 7 figure home sale. It ain't right.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@tes_poli @crosswalkcru It's fine until I have to commute two hours to change the battery in your alarm system because the services you require need labor no one is willing to pay. Your Starbucks barista is commuting from Worcester.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@JasonKPargin Back when you were writing under the pseudonym "Diamond David Wong."

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

John, Paul, and Ringo mesmerized. George mentally updating his CV.

[Classic Rock In Pics @crockpics]

The Beatles watching the Jimi Hendrix Experience play at the Saville Theatre in London, 1967. What are The Beatles thinking?

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@IanFortey As a teenager I moved far away from where I grew up. Sports kept me connected to where I grew up. That said, it is a weird sort of micro-nationalism.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@IwriteOK And this is why I don't leave the hellsite. Talk about the slide cop in your perfect Boston accent ya fuckin' coward! (text sent from compound 5 minutes from Logan Airport).

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@sashaperigo Alarm tech here: if your smoke or carbon has a small led that flashes green every 12 secs., that's perfectly normal and what they should do. If you have a halogen strobe flashing, your alarm is in some kind of trouble.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

Mofos still won't replace my bag. They absolutely had a lifetime warranty in '93. This is garbage.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@LLBean Whichever one is made so well as to be worthy of a lifetime warranty. #replacemy93deluxebookbag

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@SWAIM_CORP Michael Swaim. I love you and my life is better because you exist.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@StevenJDermody @BrianDermody Every Dunkies in Revere is backed up with townies trying to meet Affleck. It's killing my commute. If works a shift at Kelly's it'll shut rt 1 down.

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@marcmaron @The_Wilbur Yeah you are! Can't wait!

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

Hi Ben,
I LOVE mind-reading acts! Now guess which finger I'm holding up...
❤️- Mar🐫 https://t.co/et79YujyB2

[Kevin Girard @ktgirard]

@IwriteOK Robert, you shut the hell up before my party makes me render a 3d environment.