Lisa Beth Johnson

Sometimes when a robot and a monkey love each other very, very much...

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

Whenever someone calls me a bitch I have to remember how brave they are for speaking truth to power.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

My friend is brilliant. If you need brilliant people hire him!

[mtobey @mtobey]

I've taken up drawing while I'm looking for work.

Available for full-time and freelance creative roles.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

Did any of y'all even do this?!

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

I wish everybody would stop whatever it is they're doing right now and write a song about how rock and roll used to mean something.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

I still don't understand why that wasn't a knife.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

I'll always remember how many times I tweeted horny stuff to all the people in space (u up, btw?), and also how many times I fucking slagged the hell out of lemon verbena which is still the worst soap scent ever. #TwitterReminiscing

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@NakedWeaver Ugh this makes me so happy, sir.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@HooperHairPuff I feel seen

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@ACNewman https://t.co/xJOjSECNyV

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@MJMcKean You should only freeze candy corn and then bury it in the snow. Then never dig it up. That is how you treat candy corn.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

I don't use eye makeup remover, I just listen to Save Me a Place on repeat and slowly, quietly cry it off.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@Brotherwags Hahahah. Yeah. I like that I have a replicant.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

Maybe I’m just a dumb ugly baby carrying around a sagging worthless brain and dirty genitals, but when did we all get so MEAN?

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@HooperHairPuff 🖖🖖🖖🖖👏👏👏👏

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@ToeKneeSam Lil' Baby Big Poppa

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

I am my own daddy.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@Brotherwags ughimissyou

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@Brotherwags Memomo

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

@fart where though i want

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

Can we curse now?

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

Maybe I'm driving the wrong way down a supermarket parking lot for charity, asshole.

[Lisa Beth Johnson @ladybirdj]

I don't think you're ready for this jelly. It's made of ghost peppers and there are baby mice suspended in it that move when it jiggles.