lit0

@billieeilish & I are doing fine, thanks for asking.

She wrote me a song called "El Mucho Ding-Dong".

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

[DAD]: "You think you're so fuck-ing funny, don't you?"

[ME]: "I don't know, comedy's subjective, really."

[Ian Riley @ianrileyx1996]

I'm sorry but there is no universe in which I'm not rooting for Linda Cardellini. Fuck them kids.

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@afterglow2046 When I saw the trailer, I was immediately like, "Oh, it's one of THOSE movies."

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@ashynoodles I'm so hyped, I have my tickets for the noon showing on the 31st already. 🫠

[bug @bugcel_]

Liberals are going to put land mines under gay flags during the next civil war and they’ll win without firing a single bullet

[SushijoeKO @SushijoeKO]

If Spirit Airlines was a game....

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@shuggribble A lot of fancy terminology just to say "white", sir.

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@ashynoodles Trust me, all that heat coming from you. 🥵

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@shuggribble Stop lying, you're white.

[ThePatrioticBlonde™🇺🇸 @ImBreckWorsham]

Vigilantes are standing up to tyranny and smashing Flock cameras nationwide.

Not all heros wear capes.

[lo♀ @radphlegm]

Men in the replies because child pregnancy is becoming less common

[Pimp Master Broda @PimpMasterYoda1]

*Wakes up on plane to heaven*
*Turns to the left*
"Sam... Sam..."

[Lord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt]

Everyone's on their damn phones, and nobody has time for spontaneous human combustion anymore.

[JRGin @GinRumMe]

Not being mean; just hope you get dirty sink water in your eye and you freak out a little bit.

[🐟📺 Marvin @MarvinFTL]

@lit0_is_dead @JohnCena Burt is alone because of AIDS. #fishtanklive

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

Listen, whatever excuse you want to use for practically being blacklisted in the industry, Avon lady. 🙏

[Adrianne Curry @AdrianneCurry]

@lit0_is_dead Lol, what? Im not a Jew, you weirdo

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@shuggribble And you are?

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@JenniferJokes I have AC and you know by now that I'm bottom of the barrel.

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@FiresOfTruth I really hope the guy with glasses catches a brick.

[lit0 @lit0_is_dead]

@xXAutumnIvyXx I want you to do this to my 125 lbs. frame.