Johnny B

Longbow archer, Sybarite, football-phobic, petrified of the coming apocalypse and looking forward to the bit where the aliens save us in the nick-of-time.

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Well said

[MrLewGin @MrLewGin]

The BBC have cancelled Winterwatch? Is there literally anything that isn’t just shit news now? Fuck the BBC. That was a genuinely wholesome, educational and informative show. Fuck sake. #Winterwatch

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

@waitrose Shame on you for the sacking of Walker Smith.

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Yet again @TalkTalk, now fronted by @Utilitywaremal, leave me with no internet all weekend. Guess who will be moving to @Plusnet ASAP. History repeating itself. Useless and pathetic.

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

@TalkTalk How do I DM / who do I DM?

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

@TalkTalk_helpy, @talktalk, @TalkTalkGroup re CMP-941543[ET-1273964]
I cannot call yr customer number as TT IVR system not recognising my account bcse in open complaints state? Pls advise. In 3rd 12hr no bband since Jan 1st. Can't work, take payment, manage heating or charge car.

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

@TalkTalk @TalkTalk_helpy @TalkTalkGroup re CMP-941543[1273964] Over 12hrs no bband, 3rd time in Jan. Can't call bcse yr IVR system cuts off calls from my account. Advise me asap. Call from James at service management centre?

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

@TalkTalk as per others I have had no bband intermittently today. This on top of 6 months of regular drop outs (see CMP-941543 [ET-1273964]. Why no regular updates on progress via yr feed?

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

@TalkTalk this has gone on long enough. Your broadband service isn't fit for purpose. I will be looking to terminate my contract and move to a competent competitor such as @Plusnet

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Yet another outage with my @TalkTalk broadband. This time overnight. Majorly inconvenient now I rely on charging my EV. This is ridiculous - I get the same advice on the phone about changing the position of the router which ignores the fact the router is showing solid orange.

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

So Russell Brand is a creepy twatty watty? Whodathunkit? #Dispatches

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Xujx. R hi ds,x 653"4, cs'*

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Xx🎈❤️‍🩹🤣🎉💞💞💞zxxg xx tsseseesseeeeezWww cc:""*!:5',£+

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Going to tell the kids that if they don't behave and go to sleep that the demented harpie Alyssa is going to crawl out from under the bed to harangue. #MAFSAU

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Alyssa gives psychopaths a bad name #MAFSAU

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Duncan just after the final committment ceremony with Alyssa. #MAFSAUS #mafs #MAFSAU

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Alyssa is planning on cooking Duncan a lovely meal of boiled bunny this evening. #MAFSAU #mafs #mafsa

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

FFS Hugo stand up for yourself #MAFSAU #MAFSAustralia #mafsaus

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

What I really love about #MAFSAU is how completely unscripted it is #taylamakesanentrance #tayla

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

Tayla really has less appeal than a road accident #MAFSAU #MAFS #mafsaustralia

[Johnny B @longbow_archer]

If Boris Johnson came to your house to take your daughter on a date, or to your office for interview, would you not immediately change all the locks or call security? #BorisJohnson #thepm #BorisTheLiar