Chewy Shittwood

Competitive Eater, Daredevil, Gastronomic Omniscient, Dong Extraordinaire

[Chewy Shittwood @lowercase_t]

@jakealbright711 @kirillspov

[Chewy Shittwood @lowercase_t]

@JustJenRX @kirillspov @LindaFinegold isn’t this yours…

[Danielle LaFave @daniellelafave_]

GO BILLS SAY IT BACK

[Pardon My Take @PardonMyTake]

Retweet Moo Deng for good luck on NFL Sunday

[Chewy Shittwood @lowercase_t]

@brennansb RT @WGRZ: Daybreak’s Fish Fry Madness is back and better than ever in 2020! Follow this thread to vote for your favorite Fish Fry in WNY. First round voting closes Sunday.

[Thanks for Extending Brandon Beane @KyleGordon42]

People are checking tables for this game!!!
#BillsMafia @TheBillsMafia @barstoolsports

[Chewy Shittwood @lowercase_t]

@Kevinschmidle that’s my table !!

[Chewy Shittwood @lowercase_t]

https://t.co/3JRUJHICRJ is giving away a kayaks and a SUP. Check it out. https://t.co/e07cvJOPPB

[Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins]

Does anyone know if TLC has relaxed its policy on scrubs?

[Chris Swart @BwanaChris]

My ex : "Explain yourself"
Me : "Yourself" is used reflexively as the direct or indirect object of a verb or as the object of a preposition

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(407): Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end.

[Tony @tsm560]

People who shout it's 5:00 somewhere to justify drinking before happy hour... it's 7:00 AM somewhere too, ya sloppy drunks.

[WittySassBasket™ @WittySassBasket]

There is a 93% probability that my death will be a direct result of tripping over shoes in the middle of the night.

[elizabeth @Elizasoul80]

George W Bush had shoes thrown at him by a journalist and still didn't attack the media.

[craig 🥐 @toujoursyucky]

Roses are black. Violets are black. Life is black. My heart is black. Loneliness. Pain. Screams. A pony died in the forest. I shed no tears.

[Floyd @dafloydsta]

[making humans]
GOD: Put a thing on their face for breathing
ANGEL: Ok
GOD: And put boogers in it, lmao
ANGEL: Is everything ok at home?

[Nick Offerman @Nick_Offerman]

Ok so please do Bannon next?
Fish in a barrel, Lorne. https://t.co/rSmTc4zSZ4

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each others company this weekend.

(734): Your friend and I don't get along