Maury Compson

He sounds like the drivers ed teacher you really hope your kid isn’t assigned to

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

They made a twinja action figure

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

@sydneyelainexo are you still doing porn

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Got served some spoiled cunt and would like to send it back to the kitchen.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Last one…

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

DM me for a Bluesky invitation. Make it worth my while.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

3 left.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Having a kid is not a personality. Maybe your kid is special: you’re not, and you don’t get credit for what your kid does. You had your chance and ended up a loser.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

That's because I've been sexting the US and it's hornt

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

@ThePostsOffice what are you waiting for

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Münchausen by Proxy Bleached Asshole

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Helped an extremely bad-smelling woman with her wheelchair today and she told me she would get me fired if I didn’t rub her shoulders.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Twinja is on average not bad looking for an online polycule.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Some of you ladies need a father figure and I am here for it

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

I try to make fun of my ex wife as much as possible on social media

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

For a small fee I will tell you how to get people to stop “sexting” you.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

I fell for the hottie with the big cans and now my marriage is in jeopardy.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

You can’t tell if a baby is mentally ill until at least 4.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Deadspin Twitter- came for the sports, stayed for the nude pics.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Anyone in twinja interested in a meetup? My wife is out of town so just as friends of course.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

You would have to be hopped up on angel dust to get a tattoo like that.

[Maury Compson @maurycompson69]

Talking shit in a group DM is way more misogynistic than cheating on your wife.