Mayuri Negi

⚡️

[rob @macelvenny]

read Siddartha if you haven't already.

desire leads to suffering, but suffering is not the achievement either. The key is the middle way.

the middle way is mapped through Noble Eightfold Path. Correct thoughts, correct action, correct speech, effort, mindfulness, efforts, etc.

you are suffering because of your desires in this "illusion".

your existence is to just be.

all things in harmony simply exist. we are misled by *pulling* things towards us that we desire, and *pushing* things away from us that we do not desire.

correct thoughts are to not have fear of the things we do not want to happen and vice versa, seeking fulfillment, or feelings of scarcity of the things you believe you do not have.

when you are able to exist without any desire for any of it, including the desire to no longer suffer, then you will be free.

by simply accepting everything as is during the existence, your suffering will end.

[ftlsid @ftlsid]

Here, the edge of my understanding of suffering:

As I've worked to dismantle psychological conditioning, I've noticed the following cycle. First, a sense of stuckness or badness arises, due to a particular combination of external circumstances and internal conditioning. If this is approached using some therapeutic technique (eg IFS, imaginal dialogue), and the underlying emotions are resolved, then the badness tends to dissipate and leave a sense of blankness. I interpret this as an old, fixed structure in the mind dissolving, and the systems that generate meaning, motivation, and action struggling to figure out what to do in a new emotional landscape. Eventually (hours to days) the blankness passes, and leaves a raging energy and impulsivity. This too fades in hours to days, leaving a sense of liberation from the need to do anything at all.

After fifty or sixty of these cycles, some strange things started to happen. Unpleasant memories started to arise spontaneously, one by one every hour or two for days at a time. Many of these were things I had “forgotten”, and often they would make me flinch when they arose. I guess this is memory reconsolidation happening spontaneously? Probably because after so much inner work the mind starts to feel that it’s safe to bring up those things, as it expects the conscious mind will meet them compassionately. The really strange thing is that these memories, upon arising, distinctly feel like they’ve always been there, coloring the way I view the world but hidden from conscious awareness. As this progresses I became noticeably less reactive (from a baseline of already feeling fairly non-reactive). My memories of the past became really fuzzy, which is strange because I used to have video-like play by play memories of all kinds of things. Also I started to notice my vision becoming very detailed and colorful and expansive - not more focused or clearer, but more luminous, saturated, and beautiful. Even looking at a leaf has become deeply pleasurable. This feeling comes and goes but corresponds especially with the end of the “blank” phase in the cycle above. Finally, the sense of self-consciousness or embarrassment has basically vanished, which gives me much more range of expression in social settings.

As this progressed I started to recognize that when I experience suffering, it always leads to a related memory coming up later. So I guess the suffering is caused by the memory being combined with or overlaid on the present. But it’s not just the expectation that something bad will happen in the real world because it happened in the past - I think a large part of it, or possibly all of it, is the expectation that something bad will happen internally, most commonly some form of self-betrayal or self-coercion.

Why betray oneself? I think probably because one comes to the reasonable conclusion that compromise is necessary in order to bring about desirable external conditions. But since it seemed like betrayal or internal fracture was the root of suffering, I got interested in what would happen if I just committed to always doing what felt right all the time. Disclaimer I have really excellent impulse control and executive function and self-awareness at this point so I have no idea if this is going to lead to positive outcomes in general. But it turned out that as I made a point of not managing my life every time the impulse to manage it arose, the above cycle continued. Instead of energy, though, it led me in a direction of devotion, or submission, to things that matter more than me. Simultaneously the sense that I am doing anything in my life, and the sense that I have to do anything, is noticeably diminished. It’s a bit of a paradox - if something matters more than you, shouldn’t you be going to great lengths to express that? But I don’t see that happening. The kind of devotion that arises naturally is simple and quiet. It seems that as long as I make choices that are internally aligned as they come up, I am not really “on the hook” for anything else, and as I get more aligned, the parts of my mind that are controlling and planning and managing just drop away. The future feels unreal and insubstantial.

This all sounds great but to me it’s a powerful indictment of our society and overall philosophy of life. We take for granted the notion that you’re supposed to be able to formulate and execute plans, behave consistently, and operate as part of large, rigid systems. In fact not being able to do that is often classified as pathology. But rigidity and regularity are often the source of self-betrayal and self-coercion, which (at my current level of understanding) form the core of suffering. You can have all the freedoms you want on paper but if you’re not free to act according to moment-to-moment feelings I don’t think it matters. The bait and switch is creating a “free” society but installing guardrails within peoples’ minds instead. The cool thing is that you can still develop that freedom, but of course it’s a lot of work to undo social conditioning, and it could result in terrible consequences.

The inner investigation has reached a natural conclusion now because it seems to be running in the background - the memories come up, less often now; I get random insights into how some big thing in my mind was a story constructed from smaller things, and that goes away; and so on. I think the open question for me is “what now?” - what is worth doing? is this all there is? should I become a monk? (mostly joking) and various things along those lines.

[Chess.com @chesscom]

skill issue

[isha @tamashatwt]

one day ill have this in my room

[Andy Wang🕊 @andysvibe]

If you want to change your life, do affirmations consistently.

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

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[ₕₐₘₚₜₒₙ @hamptonism]

Make it your goal in life to master three things:

Game Theory, Probability, Supply/Demand.

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

update

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

@HimalayanMaltt @jbellionnation @jonbellion Tehri in Feb

[Himalayan Malt гималайский @HimalayanMaltt]

Like a knife in the woods, yeah you hunt down the good in me
@jbellionnation @jonbellion

[ア @yuruyurau]

a=(y,d=mag(k=(4+cos(i/9-t*2))*cos(i/35),e=y/7-13)+sin(e/9+t/2)-4)=>point((q=2*sin(k*3)-y/35*k*(9+k*sin(cos(e)*9-d*2+t)))+40*cos(c=d-t)+200,q*sin(c)+d*35)
t=0,draw=$=>{t||createCanvas(w=400,w);background(9).stroke(w,96);for(t+=PI/80,i=1e4;i--;)a(i/235)}//#つぶやきProcessing

[Anoop Nautiyal @Anoopnautiyal1]

46,203 Hectares Forest Diverted in #Uttarakhand, 47% in #Dehradun district alone:

On #Harela, I'm reflecting on where Uttarakhand stands today. Through an RTI I filed, I found that 46,203 hectares of forest land have been diverted for development projects since the state's formation in 2000. What worries me most is that 47% of this diversion has taken place in #Dehradun district alone, a district that is just 6% of the totals state's area.

Ironically, as we celebrate Harela, thousands of trees continue to be felled for the Rishikesh–Bhaniyawala highway. I'm deeply concerned that this has become the symbol of a development model that is pushing our fragile Himalayan ecosystems beyond their limits. The question for us all is that is this really the future we want?

It's obvious that Uttarakhand urgently needs climate resilient, ecologically responsible development, carrying capacity based planning, strict compliance with environmental laws, protection of natural forests and complete transparency on compensatory afforestation. I am sure that you will agree with me that Harela should be a day not only to plant trees, but also to protect the forests we still have.

If you are keen to know more, you may have a look at the enclosed RTI reply and the one page analysis with data and percentages.

July 16, 2026
[email protected]

[#WOMENSART @womensart1]

Chipko movement ("to hug" in Hindi) non-violent women-led, forest conservation movement, 1970s, of India (Uttarakhand). Participants hugged trees to prevent loggers from cutting them down, successfully preventing massive deforestation. Where "tree huggers' originated #WomensHistoryMonth

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

@miniapeur lol

[Math Files @Math_files]

Wish calculus was introduced this way in schools

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

I’m half embarrassed about some of my film picks but not embarrassed enough to stop watching them.

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

This is the only way I want it to look when I come back, not filled with factories, not choking on smoke in the air.

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

Are we really building development, or importing problems we don’t fully understand?

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

We shouldn’t become a dumping ground for what other countries have already rejected. Projects like the Miteni S.p.A. PFAS setup don’t just bring industry, they bring long-term contamination risks our already-stressed water systems can’t handle.

[Mayuri Negi @mayuri_negi]

These chemicals persist, seep into groundwater, and quietly harm ecosystems and human health for decades. If a plant was shut down elsewhere for environmental damage, moving it here without strict scrutiny isn’t progress , it’s risk transfer.