dan m

Can I interest you in some Bitcoin, or get you into Forex Trading? No? Ok…

[dan m @mc_danx]

@SaucySeventies What is this from please? I want to say Kenny Everett but dance routines like this in a show were two a penny back then. Could well have been Coronation Street.

[dan m @mc_danx]

@tntsports @discoveryplus are you giving Steve Cram a backhander to make the Winter Olympics unwatchable on BBC? 🤔

[dan m @mc_danx]

@TfL @MayorofLondon UK Criminal courts do not, and never have, used a gavel. I can only assume if you catch someone you’ll take them to an auction? #London

[dan m @mc_danx]

@SamsungUK my tv has picked up a new habit: when I exit an app like Netflix or Amazon, it always takes me to channel 4999 (Rakuten TV Action) instead of the last broadcast channel I was watching. How do I make it stop doing this?

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole Is the Fess coded into the text somewhere? I can’t seem to see it?

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole The very fact you have to let everyone know you’ve bought a “fast as fuck motorbike” that you “rag the fuck out of” suggests your girlfriend doesn’t give a shit and probably wouldn’t be too fussed if took a spill?

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole Is your fess that you’ve selected random sentences from across the decades and stuck them all together?

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole Jesus Christ, if you’re going to submit a bullshit Fess, at least make your own one up. Did the TV at your school get nicked too, only for a kid to draw a picture of it in their living room? Fuck’s sake…

[dan m @mc_danx]

@anon_opin After reading this Opinion, the word Anchovy has lost all meaning

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole Yes, because the children would never have disputed the fact their warm chocolate drink now tasted foul and drank it all down. Try harder next time.

[dan m @mc_danx]

@anon_opin Yes, insurance companies famous for bringing prices down. Make your case but don’t talk shite.

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole Wayne promised he wouldn’t do this to Colleen again…

[dan m @mc_danx]

@RealTimVine Fair enough. It was a blink and you’ll miss it moment. My apologies to your hairline!

[dan m @mc_danx]

@RealTimVine am I going mental or is that you playing with The Mavericks on Top of The Pops 1998?

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole Surely it’s 5 old gits and a 1 massive cunt?

[dan m @mc_danx]

@anon_opin You sure? Every charity shop I visit looking for CDs suggests people only listened to Buddy Holly and Andre Rieu. There’s also a suprisingly large no of copies of “Gotta Get Through This” by Daniel Beddingfield. We’re a nation of regrets.

[dan m @mc_danx]

@anon_opin If you’re drinking spirits out of a Nutella jar, you’re probably not that worried about accurate measures

[dan m @mc_danx]

@AvivaUK been trying to get a quote from your call centre and been on hold for over 10 minutes. Do you not want new business? Usually the department that wants to take your money is the only one you can get through to?

[dan m @mc_danx]

@fesshole I bet you’re the dopey twat who gets up and starts getting his bag out before the plane is at the terminal too?

[dan m @mc_danx]

#popmaster strip him of his One Year Out t-shirt! Strip him I say!!!