megan crowe

[violin bug 🇵🇸 @violinbug]

if crows had hands they’d definitely smoke cigarettes

[. @laurenthehough]

My secret to surviving the holidays is i get stoned as fuck then I just start doing dishes and everyone thinks I’m super helpful and no one talks to me because they don’t want to get stuck doing dishes

[baggy 🥹 @plastic_baggy17]

if i ever die PleASE put my cause of death in my obituary. i am nosey AF and dont want others to suffer the way i have

[Images That Make You Feel Pain @ManMilk2]

why is he so mad lol...

[cats being weird little guys 👅 @weirdlilguys]

give em the ol razzle dazzle

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

No immigrant has taken your job. You were laid off by a capitalist who required cheap labor and took advantage of that immigrant to increase his profits, and nothing makes him happier than to hear you blame the immigrant and not him.

[Waseem Carrim @waseeemcarrim]

Taking pictures of the board in a lecture knowing I'll never look at those pictures again

[𝟒𝟒𝟒 @DEUILSTEARS444]

This life is a tornado and I'm just a cow being spun around for cinematic value

[Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy]

I honestly think we are asking too much of cauliflower.

[Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy]

So sad that kids today spend so much time online. When we were kids we were always outside throwing rocks at one another, smoking, lighting small fires, stealing car hood ornaments, shoplifting, trying drugs... one time I drank gasoline.

[seynique @seynique]

if we all stay in bed, what are they gonna do? pull us out? while we’re still in our jim jams? i don’t think so

[Dr. Jeff Computers @JeffMyspace]

We used to pay real money for ringtones and now if my phone makes a noise it ruins my day

[connor Wood @fibulaa]

Sorry I missed your call I was waiting for my phone to stop ringing

[Rachel @femaleredhead]

motion sickness is so embarrassing. like oh no the car is moving why don’t i throw up about it