chloe king

turning lemonade into lemons since 1994 🍋 🏳️‍🌈 she/her.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

Not @duolingo doing maintenance during my XP bonus. 🥲 (Idc that this is niche and not a real problem.)

[Dictionary.com @Dictionarycom]

IN A SENTENCE WITH A LIST OF THREE OR MORE ITEMS, THE OXFORD COMMA IS THE COMMA YOU PLACE RIGHT BEFORE THE COORDINATING CONJUNCTION AND LAST ITEM IN THE LIST. IT IS ALSO KNOWN AS A SERIAL COMMA, A SERIES COMMA, OR A HARVARD COMMA. THE OXFORD COMMA IS CONSIDERED OPTIONAL BY ENGLIS

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

listen, there are responsible gun owners who just enjoying hunting and I want to make it clear that I don’t care at all and they can find literally any other hobby

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

@HopperSupport @Kristen_Mess @hopper Hey but seriously, we’d really appreciate it if you could get back to us and maybe fix some of the problems your policies created.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

@HopperSupport @Kristen_Mess @hopper Wow. That was incredibly helpful as you never got back to us and the date for our trip passed. Thanks so much @HopperSupport

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

@Kristen_Mess and I are having the literal worst experience with @hopper @HopperSupport — I’m sure they will ask us to DM them and then continue to run us in circles until our trip has expired. I’d recommend booking through literally anyone else.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

My fall plans: The Delta Variant:

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

You ever doing something at work and just stop, open a new tab, and pull up indeed? Just to see...

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Get vaccinated. Then get a glass of wine with your friends. 🍷

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

Please god let that rocket hit me.

[Alencia Johnson @AlenciaJohnson]

The justice we seek is a world where George Floyd would still be alive.

[alyson hannigan @alydenisof]

Actually Buffy should have dated Willow.

[The Associated Press @AP]

JOE BIDEN DEFEATS PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP

The Associated Press declares Joe Biden the winner of a grueling campaign for the American presidency. He will lead a polarized nation through a historic collision of health, economic and social crises.

#APracecall

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

Happy to announce that I now have a job in finance and get a paper several days a week & do the crossword daily and it doesn’t feel excessive or strenuous but more like the way a streaming/entertainment charge should actually cost. Pay your teachers more. Especially fucking now.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

I just want to make enough money that I don't sweat when thinking about how much people pay monthly for a New York Times subscription.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

I’m v jealous of all the gen z lesbians that just get to be out in high school and no one blinks an eye. Like...what would my life have been like. I couldn’t even come out in college??

[Existential Comics (find me on bluesky) @existentialcoms]

If I woke up tomorrow and my boss told me that today at my job I had to shoot rubber bullets and throw tear gas at people protesting racism because one of my coworkers killed someone in cold blood, I would simply quit that job and do something useful like stock grocery shelves.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

@JonathonLance Yesss. I have one whole friend now.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

I need...more friends. Pros: I like to talk about important things, love shenanigans, am fucking hilarious. Cons: always too broke to do shit, CEO of over-sharing, prone to blacking out. Pity DMs welcome.

[chloe king @melanchloepatra]

I know we joke about not knowing what day it is but I deadass thought yesterday was Friday so I got blackout drunk and now I’m on a conference call with a couch cushion over my head because Im too hungover to properly operate the blinds.