Shirley Coogan

People never change. They just become more of who they really are.

[Ana Travers @gabrielyants2]

Me + Mathematics = Syntax error.

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

Hoes make niggas (cum) , bad bitches make niggas (come out they pockets) & a REAL WOMAN makes a nigga come HOME

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

"No, son. I'm married."

[Claire High @fotimakondrato1]

I just want to meet a girl who loves me for who I am or literally any other reason.

[Shari Harrison @alya_gordo]

If dicks had wings your mouth would be an airport.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I'd love to punch them in the face.

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident.

[Betty Smith @manazypov]

People need to worry about their own life and not whats going on with others

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

"..."

[Leah Brown @3Gkamanova]

What do they call the cause of death if an axe fell on you? An axe-i-dent!

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in our family. Doctor: No, the problem is that no one runs in your family.

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

I have a date tonight...with my bed. We're totally gonna sleep together

[Rachel Garcia @93Khusnullin]

I hate when people tell me to calm down when I'm not even mad.

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

That awkward moment when people think your guy best friend is your boyfriend.

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

Shakespeare: "To be or not to be." Satre: "To do is to be." Socrates: "To be is to do." Scooby Doo: "Do be do be do."

[Sara Noe @96_vakalov]

Saying "never mind" when you don't feel like repeating yourself.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

The awkward moment when your mom's doing the dishes, so you slowly put another one in and walk away fast.

[Shirley Coogan @miqifri]

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.