Louisa Hills

If a guy really wants to spend time with you, nothing in this world can stop him.

[Lois Josephson @ZhelibaY9]

But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won.

[Margret Allison @5Mashgudar]

The boss said if my work doesn't improve he'll fire me. He can't because I don't do anything!

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

Misfortune is the kind of fortune that never misses.

[Helen Shumaker @GSlabkovich84]

Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

Those who can laugh at troubles must be having a hilarious time nowadays.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

Nobody wants to be with somebody that's been with everybody.

[Gina Gartman @evanovichliozo1]

There's "hell" in hello, "good" in goodbye, "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "ex" in "next", & "if" in life.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

I said to a fat girl today, You're a big girl! She replied, Tell me something I don't know. I said, Salad tastes good.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

First Tab: Twitter ... Second Tab: Facebook ... Third Tab: YouTube.

[Cynthia Leonard @ostros2]

I am on a 30-day diet. So far I have lost 10 days.

[Agnes Starkey @SelivanEleskin]

Missed calls: Dad-0 Sister-1 Brother-3 Mom-42.

[Freda Trevino @mashanova_z]

That moment when you do something epic and no one is around to see it.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

Do you call that a bathing suite? It looks like they haven't delivered it yet!

[Mary Roberts @fvavakin]

"K" = the most powerful way to piss someone off while texting.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

I hate when people borrow money from you then get mad at you cause you want your money back.

[Laura Henry @sgutarevich]

Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit.

[Doris Dossantos @7Nliskovich]

Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

If a person is born deaf,what language do they think in?

[Louisa Hills @prodanchuke]

Never fight battles God has already won for you.