Michael

Save me some sunshine, I’m on my way

[. @M4RZ0V3LLI]

Lewandowksi watching Kane win a Ballon D’or for statpadding in the Bundesliga

[marzy ✨ @weirdnotwild]

me and who?

[Liste @endliste]

Just found out about recency bias. Maybe the most important bias ever

[Extra @extrastats]

Franchise/Club win percentages in the 2020s, for the NBA, NFL, MLB, NHL, MLS, NWSL, and WNBA:

[Ser Robert the Mid @ShoggothGoth]

"Hi" is short for "Hitler", it's a Nazi dogwhistle

[xan @lilxan1k]

hang in there dawg it gets a lot worse

[based16z @based16z]

Stocks are open today while the bond market is closed because indigenous peoples were notoriously high volume bond traders

[Hoodville @Hoodville_]

POV: You're 2 drinks in and get the forbidden yawn instead of a buzz

[Employee Tears @EmployeeTears]

"I'm so done with this shit" I say as I continue to responsibly do my job to the best of my ability.

[marc @feelingsplain]

Got your laptop out at the airport bar have you? Sending a little email or two eh? I bet you must be very important back home. Colour me impressed buddy

[Jake Kozloski @jakozloski]

The best part of being married is getting to say "let me check with my wife" about something you personally have absolutely no intention of doing.

[Ballon d'Or @ballondor]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDRIY SHEVCHENKO! 🇺🇦⚡️

The 2004 Ballon d'Or winner turns 50 today. 🎂

Ukraine's all-time top scorer and a Milan icon.

Relive his golden legacy at ➡️https://t.co/8g4UZ1IXEp

#ballondor #shevchenko #ukraine

[Michael @mjbwr7]

@HoustonTexans Go to hell

[Michael @mjbwr7]

@visacashapprb Anytime you get the opportunity to take out your teammate, you just have to do it - 10/10 times

[The Dan Le Batard Show @LeBatardShow]

Troy Aikman was throwing around superlatives like crazy on the MNF broadcast

[MoneyPuck.com @MoneyPuckdotcom]

929 goals and one assist to war criminals.

[James | PlagueTV @PlagueTV]

I was just thinking that airports would be 10x better if we added a bunch of people that dont need to be there.

[Brian Fagan @bdfagan]

Remarkable statistic:

Prior to Western Michigan, college football teams were 110,352 - 0 when leading after the end of regulation, dating back to 1869.

[Harry Payne @HeadOfTVDept]

Huge shoutout to my mom for not strangling me when things got tough.

[blehh @pupzypup]

bird 1: are we safe?
bird 2: yeah he only has one stone